ON KILLING ORCHIDS AND REKINDLING RELATIONSHIPS

orchid_edited

Lounge circa 2009
They say that it’s not a good thing to look back with regret, but I can’t help thinking back to the orchids I made flourish profusely in my marital home. I had them showing off shamelessly all over the place, seemingly thriving on my neglect. Yesterday – as I discarded yet another sad, brown victim of my newfound ineptitude with these exotic blooms – I was forced to wonder where I am going wrong. Perhaps I am guilty of extreme cosseting, but I vowed to give up. I have, after all, killed a sum total of eleven plants in seventeen months. Yes, I would give it up … after just one more try … if this one dies, I will throw in the towel and stick to the thriving pots of succulents on my balcony.

last chance orchid_edited

New orchid – the last chance.
Extreme cosseting is also something I must avoid as my rekindled relationship with my daughter grows tentatively close again. When we spend time together I have to curb my urge to smother her with physical contact. I want to touch her, to hold her hand and hug her all the time, but I know that I must restrain myself and be content with an embrace on meeting and parting.
My girl has a beau now and I was overjoyed (and more than a little nervous) to meet the lad this past weekend. They’re terribly sweet together; both earnest, smart youngsters who delighted me with their witty conversation. I took them to Thava, an authentic Indian restaurant near to my new home. The chap has an aversion to very hot curries and it was a testament to his devotion to my child that – when her Vindaloo dish proved too hot – he promptly swapped dishes and manfully made his way through the dish as best he could, although I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

curries at thava_edited
Chicken Tikka Masala / Chicken Vindaloo / Seafood Vindaloo with Basmati Rice.

seafood vindaloo at thava_edited
My own seafood curry was delicious.
Dessert proved less stressful for both of them and – again – the young man gladly agreed that they should exchange their portions halfway through.

vermicelli dessert at thava_edited
Payasam – Vermicelli cooked with cream, raisins and almonds.

fried ice cream at thava
Thava fried ice cream
It’s such a thrill for me to be sharing my daughter’s life again and I am so grateful to see her so happy. I’m looking forward to spending time with the two of them soon again, next time in an environment that is a little more relaxed for all three of us. I think I’ll give the curry a miss though, and cook for them in my new home … a wholesome, calming mutton doughboy at my own table, with – hopefully – a thriving orchid as a centerpiece.

doughboy_edited
Mutton Doughboy (Recipe on my previous post.)

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55 Comments Add yours

  1. Miss Chris says:

    You have no idea how happy your new happiness makes me. I get so excited to read about your growth in your rekindling of relations with your Dort! Makes me really really happy!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you, Chrissie, some days I feel my heart will burst.

  2. Cindy, what fantastic and happy news – I am overjoyed for you about your rekindled relationship with your daughter – yay!!! Think I shall quickly stand up and do a little happy dance.
    Have a beautiful day.
    🙂 Mandy xo

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Mandy, hope your week is going from one happy dance to another 🙂

  3. slpmartin says:

    Wonderful to hear how things are improving there…especially your relationship with your daughter…hard to hold back those hugs. Must admit that the very spicy food is difficult for me to hand so can empathize with the lad. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Holding back on the hugs requires Herculean strength, Charlie 🙂

  4. optie says:

    I am so happy to hear that your relationship with your daughter is getting back to where it was. As someone also walking that road I know how important it is to hold back. I love orchids but houseplants are just one more thing to look after and a problem when you want to go away so I’ve given up on them for now.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Best of luck with the road you’re walking, Optie xxx

  5. Tammy says:

    Seafood vindaloo! I’ll trade it for orchids! And I kill them too.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I’m keeping my beady eye on this orchid, Tammy 😉

  6. granny1947 says:

    Don’t feel bad about the orchids…if I buy peace in the home it kicks the bucket before I get it into the house. Am so happy for you girl.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks my lovely friend 🙂

  7. nrhatch says:

    A bit of laissez-faire goes a long way . . . with orchids and off-spring. 😀

    1. theonlycin says:

      You’re right, Nancy 😀

  8. Arkenaten says:

    We have orchids all over the place and they seem to thrive.
    We also have some wild ones planted underneath a tree in the back garden. The have blue and yellow flowers and are gorgeous. They seed/root themselves and have sort of taken over that particular patch and almost made it their own.
    My missus tends the ones in pots – she has some called Lady’s Slipper, I think?
    And there are several like the one in your pic on an old dresser in the dining room.

    I am reminded of an episode of Big Bang Theory where Sheldon hides in his room when his mum comes to visit. When he eventually comes out to grab some dinner, his flatmate , Leonard, jumps up and berates him for behaving like a child. Sheldon immediately grabs his food and flees once more, at which point his mother turns to Leonard and says, “You’ve never hunted deer, have you?”

    Kids, eh? Patience is the watchword, I guess.

      1. theonlycin says:

        Thanks for the link, Ark, makes me want to see more of the series 🙂

      2. Arkenaten says:

        It seems to be a love/hate thing with most folk. I adore the series and watch several episodes every week and never tire of the humour.
        My missus thinks I am more crazy than the actors!
        C’est la vie, n’est pas?

      3. theonlycin says:

        I’m rather inclined to agree with Mrs Ark ;p

      4. Arkenaten says:

        When the wimmin band together the blokes are doomed!
        🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Lucky you with the abundant orchids, Ark 🙂

      1. Arkenaten says:

        Hey, my sole involvement is limited to hosing the flowers, I have not clue about growing,maintaining or anything else.

        My gardening ”education” I learned from a friend years ago.
        “Dig a hole, plant it and if it grows it’s good.”

      2. theonlycin says:

        I’m lucky with most plants, just not with orchids. Puzzling and frustrating:(

      3. Arkenaten says:

        Perhaps they just need a stiff ‘talking to” ? 😉

      4. theonlycin says:

        I’ll try gentle chats first 😉

      5. Arkenaten says:

        I concur. Good Vibrations are always much better.

      6. theonlycin says:

        Oh Ark, that was my wedding song! Bittersweet …

      7. Arkenaten says:

        Ah…sorry,Cin. My bad….apologies.

        Maybe this will put a smile on your dial 🙂

      8. theonlycin says:

        Ah, now isn’t that a delightful blast from the past. Thank you, I’m off to find their CD and play it LOUDLY for the orchids. And for me 🙂

      9. Arkenaten says:

        The album, Argus, is a superb record (I mean cd…whose showing his age now?LOL)
        I was fortunate enough to see Wishbone Ash. Ironically though,not in the UK, but at Sun City when they came over.
        They were blacklisted for that gig too and were forced to make a formal apology.
        Heady days….

      10. theonlycin says:

        How lucky for you, Ark 🙂

  9. adinparadise says:

    I’m not great with house plants, but orchids do seem to thrive on neglect, so I do quite well with them. I just spray the leaves once a week, and give them a dribble water when I remember. 🙂 That Indian food looks so delicious. Your photos are brilliant. Great news about your daughter. I’m sure you’re giving her just the right amount of tender care.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks for the tip about spraying them, AD, I’ll be sure to try that 🙂

  10. hotlyspiced says:

    I’m so happy you’re able to spend time with your daughter. I know I would be heartbroken if I was unable to have contact with my kids. Her boyfriend sounds very caring and lovely of him to swap/share dishes and eat cuisine he’d usually avoid! I love the look of your orchid and I do hope it survives and is proudly on display when you cook your mutton dish xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Her boyfriend really is a very special guy, I’m so happy for both of them 🙂

  11. bluebee says:

    The buds on those orchids are like jewels. Beautiful. So glad to hear of these times to savour, Cin. You have emerged from one helluva storm. Onwards and upwards.

    1. theonlycin says:

      A helluva storm indeed, bluebee. I’m still kinda reeling …

  12. Jamie Dedes says:

    So delighted to read about your visit, Cindy, and feel the beams of happy coming off this post.

    Interesting about the orchids – and frustrating for you – I find that everytime I move I lose plants. 😦

    Be well. Stay happy.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you, Jamie xxx

  13. Orchids are far trickier than daughters xxx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Yep, you’ve got that right!

  14. adeeyoyo says:

    I am so happy for you, Cin. I think the trick is NEVER to show you’re needy – it seems to work for me… I think I’ve grown a crust. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      I’m working on my crust, adee 🙂

  15. Dee says:

    So pleased about the time you have with your daughter, it can only get even better. I once kept an orchid that a friend gave me for two years, then it died. Are you in the city now vs the country? Perhaps it is toxic fumes in the air, like I should make any suggestions when I cannot grow them either.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I’ve always been in the city, Dee, not sure what I’m doing differently, but they used to grow so well in my marital home. Maybe time and patience will win the day 🙂

  16. Your daughter obviously has excellent judgement; and how excellent that she chooses to bring her new boyfriend to meet you. The meal looks delicious, but my favourite part of this post was his gallantry. Manners are not dead, it seems.

    1. theonlycin says:

      He’s obviously been very well raised, Kate, he even offered to contribute toward payment for his share of the meal!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Mal, I’ll be right over to have a look 🙂 xxx

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