16 days to go before I move. I am surrounded by boxes that I began packing so long ago that I have quite forgotten what is in them. When I unpack it will be like a feast of rediscovery of all my precious things. In my mind I obsessively fantasize about my new flat and mentally arrange my furniture.
Today is my daughter’s 15th birthday and I am beyond grateful to God that yesterday, when she returned to boarding school for the new term and came to say goodbye to me, I told her I love her and she replied that she loves me too. My heart was fit to burst.
Today is also the 1 year anniversary of the day I left my rehab facility. It has been a long and bumpy ride, but my whole being sings with gratitude for my sobriety and my new-found sense of serenity – this in the midst of many things that, before, would have sent me into a fug of misery and self-pity.
The current tenants are threatening to refuse to move out of the flat. I have handed this dilemma over to the lawyers and trust that they will resolve the issue with the seller. I remain positive that the keys to my new home will be handed to me on the first of August and that my life will then begin an exciting new chapter.
Ally seems to be aware that a significant change is afoot; she is staying close to me all the time – sleeping snugly against my shoulder at night and winding herself around my feet during the day. At other times she sits on top of a wardrobe and watches my every move.
I am happy today and that is more than enough.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
And thank you to all of you, my dear friends, for always being there for me. I love you.