TERLIBANS AND BULLDUST

This is not a food post, but here’s a picture of a fine lamb vindaloo with red beans on smashed potatoes to start off with.

lamb vindaloo
I received a friend request on Facebook. Because I saw we had a mutual friend, I accepted. The bloke’s photo looked quite respectable; he didn’t look like a serial killer and his profile didn’t list any weird fetishes, so I accepted. Your man, however, apparently saw me in a rather different light and he immediately popped up in my chat window. This is the conversation that ensued:
Army guy: hello
Me: Hi there, how are you?
Army guy: cool and you
Me: Not really cool, we’re having a bit of a heatwave.
Army Guy: oh sorry about that have been busy also here…..some terlibans attacked some of our men but we have tracked them down
Me: Oh, you in the army?
Army guy: yes
Me: Oh, OK.
Army guy: i will love to get to know more about you where are you from ?
Me: I’m based in Johannesburg, you?
Army guy: am born and brought up in Maryland Baltimore have you been to the state before
Me: No. I have travelled extensively in Europe, but have never been to the USA.
Army guy: Am just here glancing through ammunition and newly delivered weapons what are you doing now ?
Me: Editing a text book. Don’t you have strict security protocol about disclosing your activities?
Army guy: lol we have of cause
Me: Sorry, I am an editor and I can’t help myself from correcting people’s grammar. You mean “of course”?
Army guy: lol yes if i may ask are you married or single ?
Me: I am separated. Where are you stationed?
Army guy: Kabul your husband most have been a looser to have loose a sexy looking lady like you
Me: Thank you.
Army guy: you are welcome do you still have the heart to love again
Me: No, not for a long time. I am still very fragile.
Army guy: you dont have to look into all that for get about the past and look into the future if i may ask what are the qualities you need in a man……you seems to be a very nice lady
Me: Well. First he’d need to be an avid reader and know what I was talking about when I make literary reference. He
should know jazz. And he absolutely has to love dogs. And he would need to enjoy good food.
Army guy: I Like going to Beach,swim,Dance,Write Poem,Dinner,Hanging around with Friends and going to church as well..Just that i am Looking for a nice,Caring,Lovely woman…I want someone that is honest and being trustworthy,Who will be there for me,who will Love me for who i am and who i will love as well..I am a simple Man,Honest,Kind,Caring, Hate Lies,Cheating and not truthful,I am one woman Man.
Me: I hope you find her. I’m not that person; best of luck, I wish you well in your search for your queen.

rose posy
It takes all types to make a world, eh? I’ll just stick to gardening for the foreseeable future. At least my roses don’t tell lies.

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66 Comments Add yours

  1. What a terliban conversation! Sjoe!

    1. theonlycin says:

      I know, I had to glance through my ammo before answering ;p

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Krag, nice to see you on my blog again 🙂

  2. Pussycat44 says:

    OMG, Cin! All the more reason for me never to accept these strange friend requests.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Yep, there are oddies out there 🙂

  3. Sparkle says:

    I lol’d at your last response and my daughter asked what am I laughing at!
    The army person is just not your type Cin and do not ask what I mean by “type”. 😉
    I am made to watch the princess and the frog dvd Cin and I do not know how many times we watch even at ungodly hours. Maybe I should get her your portable one.

    1. theonlycin says:

      The portable one is a win, Sparky, it’ll give her hours of pleasure and you hours of peace.

  4. suzicate says:

    This makes a good reason for me to continue to keep my chat box off! I’ve had people (friend of a friend and some possible spammers) I’ve never met send those kind of messages through the inbox messages. You’re right to steer clear of that dude, Cindy!

    1. theonlycin says:

      I pity the poor girl who is taken in by his rubbish, Suzicate.

  5. Judith says:

    Wonderful! He’s probably be a great husband if it wasn’t for his spelling. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      I somehow suspect that he already IS a husband, Judith 😉

  6. Ugh! Nothing like another man to make you appreciate being single, eh? I was hoping hard (between bouts of uncontrolled laughter) that he was from some obscure illiterate country, or at least from one of our states that is known for their poor education system…but no. Very funny story, anyway, Cindy. Thank you!

    1. theonlycin says:

      You’re welcome, Cindy, I do hope the poor man finds what he’s looking for.

  7. nrhatch says:

    Ack! I’ve lost access to my e-mail and my FB account . . . I wonder if someone like Army dude hacked into them?

    1. theonlycin says:

      I doubt he’s clever enough for that. Besides, he’s very busy fighting off the terlibans ;p

  8. Oh Dear Cin, just how stupid do these people think one is? Good on you for snubbing him with such class 😉

    1. theonlycin says:

      Oh, I’m sure he’ll find some gullible lass to be his queen 😉

  9. LOL, “terliban” nogal! 🙂
    Thanks for the chuckle today, Cin !

    1. theonlycin says:

      You’re welcome, Hope, I had a good laugh too – after I stopped being cross 😉

  10. slpmartin says:

    I’m no longer a Facebook user…the friend request from strangers, the breaking into my account by someone in Nigeria selling weight loss products, etc….resulted in my making the decision not to be a part of that online community…a term I use lightly. 🙂 Happy New Year my friend…may it be prosperous and full of true love.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you Charlie, but I’ll give Eros wide berth for a long, long time 🙂

  11. Onecakebaker says:

    I don’t even think this was an Army guy….looks like some Eastern European hacked his account.

    1. theonlycin says:

      You’re probably right.

  12. colonialist says:

    Keep ’em talking long enough and they all relapse into their normal illiteracy …
    Have a wonderful 2013!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Same to you, Col. xxx

  13. klrs09 says:

    Sounds like he was a ‘terliban’! LOL Wishing you happiness for the New Year, Cindy,

    1. theonlycin says:

      Hehehe, he’s a terliban fibber 😉

  14. souldipper says:

    The privacy controls are there and I believe in using them. It’s a chore to stay on top of all the changes, but I check out the settings every few months. And I only turn on chat when someone in the family wants to have a wee visit.

    I agree with you, Cin, the writer is either unbalanced, married or a hormonal kid looking for kicks. It’s creepy – hope you unfriended him.

  15. hotlyspiced says:

    What an idiot. I would say everything he said about himself including being American was an absolute lie. But what great fodder for a blog post. I’m so glad you shared this – it’s very amusing xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Yes, in retrospect it is very funny 😀

  16. Love those roses. I saw a buttercream rose just like the white and pink one today.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I didn’t know it was called a buttercream rose, thanks 🙂

  17. Oh dear no, my mess up. The rose I saw was made from buttercream frosting. It was on a cake. I have begun to dabble a slight bit into cake making once again. Todays cake was a disaster. It was White Chocolate Raspberry. NOT. It was a fallen apart, not done, stick to the pan, break apart mess. I really hate it when that happens. And then the frosting was too thin and really didn’t help matters much. I am having one of those weeks. Nothing works out. I should just stay in bed as if I don’t already.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Don’t give up, keep going and the results will make you feel better about everything 🙂

  18. Ruth2Day says:

    LOL! I can’t believe you chatted to him for so long

    1. theonlycin says:

      At first I thought he was just a lonely soldier away from home and felt sorry for him :O

  19. mikibee100 says:

    Told you he was a scammer, deleted him immediately after we spoke!!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Shame, I wonder who’s photo he stole to use as his profile pic. I deleted him too.

  20. Oh for goodness sake. 🙂 Nice duck and weave, darling. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      LOL Celia, it was tempting to be very rude 😉

  21. Tandy says:

    This is why I don’t like friending strangers!

    1. theonlycin says:

      We live and learn …

  22. sonsothunder says:

    FarceBook? I never go there…I think it’s jus “turrible”… lol
    ~Happy New Year~

    1. theonlycin says:

      Happy new year right back at you xxx

  23. Oh la la – what a freak – the thought of such revolting people makes my skin crawl.
    🙂 Mandy xo

    1. theonlycin says:

      He really did creep me out, Mandy 🙂

  24. Jamie Dedes says:

    Gardening works. Gardening works very well. 🙂

    Gosh, those crazy tasteless Americans! Smashed English too. Goes well with your vindiloo though, which looks quite lucious by the way.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I suspect he’s about as American as I am, Jamie 😉

      1. Jamie Dedes says:

        Oh! … silly me …

      2. Jamie Dedes says:

        Had to return and retread. Bull”dust” indeed. 🙂
        Have a lovely evening.

  25. dearrosie says:

    well I think you should say thanks to the idiot because he’s given you the beginning of a great short story 😆

    Wow your roses are so beautiful!

  26. Tammy says:

    good God. I am laughing aloud and embarrassed for the guy. I just don’t get “friending” people who are not but offline sometime, I have a funny story about that.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Would love to read your funny story, Tammy 🙂

  27. adinparadise says:

    What a funny conversation, Cin. I ignore all friend requestss from men I don’t know personally. 🙂 Roses and lavender, what a great combination. Happy new year to you.

    1. theonlycin says:

      And a very happy new year to you, AD.

  28. adeeyoyo says:

    ROTFLMAO – Just what the doctor did NOT order, Cin! 😀

    1. theonlycin says:

      Hehehe, too true, adee 🙂

  29. bluebee says:

    Sacha Baron Cohen springs to mind…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Exactly, bluebee 😉

  30. Strange old business, social media, Cindy. I thought you dealt with him with incredible patience and courtesy, myself.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I’ll confess that I did consider some swearing, Kate 😉

  31. Count Czardas says:

    All Americans are serial killers; do you not watch CNN ?

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