TERLIBANS AND BULLDUST

This is not a food post, but here’s a picture of a fine lamb vindaloo with red beans on smashed potatoes to start off with.

lamb vindaloo
I received a friend request on Facebook. Because I saw we had a mutual friend, I accepted. The bloke’s photo looked quite respectable; he didn’t look like a serial killer and his profile didn’t list any weird fetishes, so I accepted. Your man, however, apparently saw me in a rather different light and he immediately popped up in my chat window. This is the conversation that ensued:
Army guy: hello
Me: Hi there, how are you?
Army guy: cool and you
Me: Not really cool, we’re having a bit of a heatwave.
Army Guy: oh sorry about that have been busy also here…..some terlibans attacked some of our men but we have tracked them down
Me: Oh, you in the army?
Army guy: yes
Me: Oh, OK.
Army guy: i will love to get to know more about you where are you from ?
Me: I’m based in Johannesburg, you?
Army guy: am born and brought up in Maryland Baltimore have you been to the state before
Me: No. I have travelled extensively in Europe, but have never been to the USA.
Army guy: Am just here glancing through ammunition and newly delivered weapons what are you doing now ?
Me: Editing a text book. Don’t you have strict security protocol about disclosing your activities?
Army guy: lol we have of cause
Me: Sorry, I am an editor and I can’t help myself from correcting people’s grammar. You mean “of course”?
Army guy: lol yes if i may ask are you married or single ?
Me: I am separated. Where are you stationed?
Army guy: Kabul your husband most have been a looser to have loose a sexy looking lady like you
Me: Thank you.
Army guy: you are welcome do you still have the heart to love again
Me: No, not for a long time. I am still very fragile.
Army guy: you dont have to look into all that for get about the past and look into the future if i may ask what are the qualities you need in a man……you seems to be a very nice lady
Me: Well. First he’d need to be an avid reader and know what I was talking about when I make literary reference. He
should know jazz. And he absolutely has to love dogs. And he would need to enjoy good food.
Army guy: I Like going to Beach,swim,Dance,Write Poem,Dinner,Hanging around with Friends and going to church as well..Just that i am Looking for a nice,Caring,Lovely woman…I want someone that is honest and being trustworthy,Who will be there for me,who will Love me for who i am and who i will love as well..I am a simple Man,Honest,Kind,Caring, Hate Lies,Cheating and not truthful,I am one woman Man.
Me: I hope you find her. I’m not that person; best of luck, I wish you well in your search for your queen.

rose posy
It takes all types to make a world, eh? I’ll just stick to gardening for the foreseeable future. At least my roses don’t tell lies.

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66 thoughts on “TERLIBANS AND BULLDUST

  1. I lol’d at your last response and my daughter asked what am I laughing at!
    The army person is just not your type Cin and do not ask what I mean by “type”. 😉
    I am made to watch the princess and the frog dvd Cin and I do not know how many times we watch even at ungodly hours. Maybe I should get her your portable one.

  2. This makes a good reason for me to continue to keep my chat box off! I’ve had people (friend of a friend and some possible spammers) I’ve never met send those kind of messages through the inbox messages. You’re right to steer clear of that dude, Cindy!

  3. Ugh! Nothing like another man to make you appreciate being single, eh? I was hoping hard (between bouts of uncontrolled laughter) that he was from some obscure illiterate country, or at least from one of our states that is known for their poor education system…but no. Very funny story, anyway, Cindy. Thank you!

  4. I’m no longer a Facebook user…the friend request from strangers, the breaking into my account by someone in Nigeria selling weight loss products, etc….resulted in my making the decision not to be a part of that online community…a term I use lightly. 🙂 Happy New Year my friend…may it be prosperous and full of true love.

  5. The privacy controls are there and I believe in using them. It’s a chore to stay on top of all the changes, but I check out the settings every few months. And I only turn on chat when someone in the family wants to have a wee visit.

    I agree with you, Cin, the writer is either unbalanced, married or a hormonal kid looking for kicks. It’s creepy – hope you unfriended him.

  6. What an idiot. I would say everything he said about himself including being American was an absolute lie. But what great fodder for a blog post. I’m so glad you shared this – it’s very amusing xx

  7. Oh dear no, my mess up. The rose I saw was made from buttercream frosting. It was on a cake. I have begun to dabble a slight bit into cake making once again. Todays cake was a disaster. It was White Chocolate Raspberry. NOT. It was a fallen apart, not done, stick to the pan, break apart mess. I really hate it when that happens. And then the frosting was too thin and really didn’t help matters much. I am having one of those weeks. Nothing works out. I should just stay in bed as if I don’t already.

  8. Gardening works. Gardening works very well. 🙂

    Gosh, those crazy tasteless Americans! Smashed English too. Goes well with your vindiloo though, which looks quite lucious by the way.

  9. good God. I am laughing aloud and embarrassed for the guy. I just don’t get “friending” people who are not but offline sometime, I have a funny story about that.

  10. What a funny conversation, Cin. I ignore all friend requestss from men I don’t know personally. 🙂 Roses and lavender, what a great combination. Happy new year to you.

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