This is not a food post, but here’s a picture of a fine lamb vindaloo with red beans on smashed potatoes to start off with.
I received a friend request on Facebook. Because I saw we had a mutual friend, I accepted. The bloke’s photo looked quite respectable; he didn’t look like a serial killer and his profile didn’t list any weird fetishes, so I accepted. Your man, however, apparently saw me in a rather different light and he immediately popped up in my chat window. This is the conversation that ensued:
Army guy: hello
Me: Hi there, how are you?
Army guy: cool and you
Me: Not really cool, we’re having a bit of a heatwave.
Army Guy: oh sorry about that have been busy also here…..some terlibans attacked some of our men but we have tracked them down
Me: Oh, you in the army?
Army guy: yes
Me: Oh, OK.
Army guy: i will love to get to know more about you where are you from ?
Me: I’m based in Johannesburg, you?
Army guy: am born and brought up in Maryland Baltimore have you been to the state before
Me: No. I have travelled extensively in Europe, but have never been to the USA.
Army guy: Am just here glancing through ammunition and newly delivered weapons what are you doing now ?
Me: Editing a text book. Don’t you have strict security protocol about disclosing your activities?
Army guy: lol we have of cause
Me: Sorry, I am an editor and I can’t help myself from correcting people’s grammar. You mean “of course”?
Army guy: lol yes if i may ask are you married or single ?
Me: I am separated. Where are you stationed?
Army guy: Kabul your husband most have been a looser to have loose a sexy looking lady like you
Me: Thank you.
Army guy: you are welcome do you still have the heart to love again
Me: No, not for a long time. I am still very fragile.
Army guy: you dont have to look into all that for get about the past and look into the future if i may ask what are the qualities you need in a man……you seems to be a very nice lady
Me: Well. First he’d need to be an avid reader and know what I was talking about when I make literary reference. He
should know jazz. And he absolutely has to love dogs. And he would need to enjoy good food.
Army guy: I Like going to Beach,swim,Dance,Write Poem,Dinner,Hanging around with Friends and going to church as well..Just that i am Looking for a nice,Caring,Lovely woman…I want someone that is honest and being trustworthy,Who will be there for me,who will Love me for who i am and who i will love as well..I am a simple Man,Honest,Kind,Caring, Hate Lies,Cheating and not truthful,I am one woman Man.
Me: I hope you find her. I’m not that person; best of luck, I wish you well in your search for your queen.
It takes all types to make a world, eh? I’ll just stick to gardening for the foreseeable future. At least my roses don’t tell lies.