NOEL 2011 REDUX

The book was an early Christmas gift from my husband. I read it in the early morning, in the garden while the rest of the house was asleep. Do you know the smell of Nivea body lotion? That is the scent that came in waves from the moonflowers I planted two years ago, cuttings from Sidey’s garden.


I laughed out loud at one passage; this book makes fun of our quest to be politically correct. There truly is no nation like us anywhere else in the world:
White chicks, like Black chicks, love to dance (although White chicks don’t dance in the streets when they’re disgruntled). Most Friday nights, groups of White chicks get dressed in skimpy outfits and doll themselves up to look more beautiful than they actually are. Then they go to nightclubs and throw their bags and jackets in a little pile on the floor and huddle in groups and do their dancing with their backs turned to everyone else. It’s somewhat insular if you ask me.
There’s just one problem. White chicks can’t dance. Black chicks get their bums and hips to move to the music as if they have a mind of their own but White chicks can’t manage to do this – they have to think about their dance moves and practice them so their dancing always appears a tad forced. That’s why if you see a White dancing next to a Black, the White looks like she has rigor mortis while the Black moves like she’s made of grape-flavoured jelly.
Because they are so useless at modern dancing, White chicks will employ other forms of dancing. The most common alternative is called “The Twist”. The Twist is a really simple dance Whites’ parents invented back in the 1960s because they couldn’t dance either. All you do is bend your knees, lean slightly forward and then kick your heels from side to side while making a running motion with your arms. This dance is so easy that it gives the impression that White chicks can actually dance.


I rest my case; we celebrated my boss’s birthday on Friday night. That photographs were taken is unfortunate, but I guess that’s what friends are for?


I opened my presents with the family when they finally awoke. My polka dot tunic was new and I had to smile when I opened Tandy’s gift and saw that her Mr. P bathplug matched.


It’s a colour I don’t usually wear, so you can imagine my surprise when Nzwa emerged from my guest bedroom with her gift to me; the perfect accessories for my outfit.


Peace, love & rockandroll.
Absolutely!


All too soon Nzwa’s lunch hosts arrive to fetch her. I stalled them with champagne cocktails and we had a lovely visit with lots of laughter. Nzwa was hilarious; she told us this is her first ‘White Christmas’.
My cup runneth over, it really does.

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76 thoughts on “NOEL 2011 REDUX

  1. I suddenly want moonflowers! We trying to actually start making the garden look beautiful instead of just green, and to be quite honest it is difficult when you really no bugger all about that stuff. Those look beautiful.

    You look like you had a good day. Xx

  2. I feel like I’ve just had some bubbly after this fun read.

    My black friends call me racist when I whine about them having all the rhythm and sensuous moves. Thanks for sharing Mr. Kilpatrick’s book.

    Like the reindeer!

  3. It all sounds lovely! You had some great presents and guests. And that is a whole new meaning of White Christmas, I love it! (Here, in the Netherlands, our Christmas was not white in the original sense, as it’s about 10 Celsius with a bit of rain every now and then).

  4. how fantastic, i had t laugh at the description of the white chicks dancing! and you are just so beautiful, i love to see you. in your gorgeous outfits PS I think you need to clean out your wardrobe to fit all that gorgeous new stuff, I am cool with hand me downs! I’m not proud!!c

  5. Ha ha . . . your first Blue Christmas (including the nails) and her first White Christmas! 😉

    Love the reindeer and the moonflowers.
    Gorgeous together.

    Dance on!

  6. Fun post!
    I love the rigor mortis & ‘grape-flavoured jelly’!
    I don’t mind what people do when they dance as long as they don’t just stand there, twitch slightly, and look as if a visit to the toilet is overdue.

  7. Humor, Humor…lots of fun and smiles all round…I had to smile, the description of the ‘white chicks’ of how they dance…hands up high…only just did it myself at a Christmas party too! LOL! and danced and sang the words out loud to the time warp….oh! no! Looks like you have a wonderful celebration with friends ..I love your garden reindeer x

  8. Are moon flowers Nicotinia?

    We should celebrate the differences in each other as your book seems to point out! I’m envious of your weather BTW!

    • They seem to be of the same species, Pseu, but the flowers are bigger that Nicotinia. I seem to remember my mom calling them ‘Love spirals down’. Will investigate and keep you posted. xxx

  9. Gives “White Christmas” a whole new meaning… I love it and your blue gifts, serendipitously matched. Best of the season to you – do you celebrate Boxing Day there as well as Christmas?

  10. Awe, I’m a bit late…Merry Christmas! Digging your look in your ‘twisty’ pic; Dare say that your new boss, and work gig, are agreeing with you! Cannot wait to read what new adventures you’ll post in 2012; cheers!

  11. What a nice happy post 🙂 Belated merry wishes from over here.
    That tree grows all over my neighbourhood but I don’t know the name and have never smelled the flowers.
    I was pleased to see the photo of you dancing with your blue nails.

  12. love the photos and the cxommentary: esp ‘her first white xmas;; your cup does indeed runneth over; what I like about your blogs, Cindy, is they are invariably cheerful and optimistic: you are not ground down by a gruelling world

  13. political correctness has had a corrosive effect on free speech — though to its credit it has ‘reined in’ the more extreme expression of ideologies esp that characterised \as ‘hate speech’

  14. I just bopped in here from Souldipper’s blog. I love this post. The white/black chick dancing routine was fabulous and I love your light hearted approach. The bath plug is a keeper. teehee. Happy New Year.

  15. Belated Merry Christmas to you & yours, Cindy and all the best for a really special New Year! Looks like you had a ball and were appropriately spoilt – and I love that dancing pic 😀

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