BLUSHING, HAEMORRHOIDS AND NECTACOTS

Life at the salon is positively hectic, with Johannesburg women flocking in to be transformed into ‘beach babes’ for the holidays. The stylists are working at a hectic pace and I am exhausted by the end of the day and welcome my homecoming, when I can slump into a garden chair and enjoy my glass of chilled wine.


I’m sleeping like a log and waking up bleary- and puffy-eyed. Last week a customer suggested I dash down to Clicks to buy a tube of haemorrhoid treatment ointment; she said it is a sure-fire cure for bags-under-the-eyes. Clicks is a department store, stocking medicines, toiletries, cosmetics etc; much like Germany’s Schlecker or England’s Boots stores. At my local branch works an elderly gay man of whom I have become very fond over the years. Your man is hard of hearing, which makes for some awkward moments, especially on a busy Saturday morning, when the shop is teeming with shoppers.
Me: [dulcet tones] “Could I have a tube of Preparation H, please?
EGM: [STRIDENT tones] Have you got PILES? Oh shame, Lovey, you poor thing! ARE THEY SORE?
Blushing like a rose  …


Moving along swiftly; my husband has discovered a new fruit, the Nectacot. My spellchecker doesn’t believe me, so here is proof.


The fruit is a cross between a nectarine and an apricot and – of course – I had to experiment immediately. As today is the anniversary of Prince Louis II de Condé’s death, back in 1686. He was known as the Great Condé and was a French general who loved to hunt and had a passion for rice. Several dishes have been named for him, including Consommé Condé and Crème Condé. I hate rice pudding, but am always game for a challenge.
I decided to use pasta rice instead of regular, and made a puree of the nectacots, added gelatin and set the rice. Inspired by Dinahmow, who said on her blog: “What a good thing I don’t sign up for those silly post-a-day blog things! You want regular, try prune juice.” I added prunes.


As I am still without my desired pizzelle iron, I served my pud with the faithful standby; Bakers Tennis Biscuits.
It was vile … perfectly vile …

Advertisements

78 thoughts on “BLUSHING, HAEMORRHOIDS AND NECTACOTS

  1. I’m very keen to know if Prep H works for you, Cin. It didn’t for me. It may not have helped that I’d fly into hysterics with every application.

    That presentation is grand. You have the touch…top drawer!

  2. I’d like to know whether you actually put bum cream under your eyes?
    When I fell 2 years ago and had to get 5 stitches on my knee I was told to use PrepH to help prevent scarring. I didn’t though. It sounded too eeeooowww…

    The nectacots look like apricots. What do they taste like? Every summer they bring out another apricot/plum/nectarine combination here. They all taste good as far as I’m concerned.

  3. Nectacots must combine sweet and sour. Both lovely on their own, but methinks it defeats the tastebuds somewhat, lol!

    I like rice pudding (must have jam and meringue on top though!), but prefer sago pud (ditto!).

    I have heard that remedy years ago, but never discovered if it worked…

  4. You used pasta rice, aka orzo! While I am not surprised it did not taste good, it is a shame the taste did not live up to the appearance. It looked lovely.
    Bakers TENNIS biscuits? How strange. You sure do things differently down under the equator.

  5. All I know is the dish looks and sounds delicious…though, the part about piling in a garden chair with a hard of hearing gay guy gave me a subliminal message in a STRIDENT TONE to pucker up like a Nectacot!!! Er, I probably read that all wrong…
    But, my eyes haven’t completely failed me, as that is one beautiful looking dish.
    As are you.
    Bless you
    paul

  6. I had heard haemorroid cream was good for bags under your eyes but have never wanted to purchase a tube from the chemist knowing they wouldn’t believe me if I told them it was for my bags and not my rectum!

  7. So… looks was deceiving this time… 😦 You wouldn’t have known had you not tried. You don’t seem afraid to try – at life; one has many more wonderful experiences that way than one who wouldn’t do a thing 🙂
    The fruit sounds interesting. Am I correct that it is between a type of peach and an apricot? I love both – they are some of my favorite fruit! I imagine the mix would be as great as the juices that I’ve tasted throwing those two together.
    Well, the good thing is that, as tired as you are, as much as are you enjoying what is exhausting you. That makes the wine and the cream more worth it! 😉 Would have been awfully nasty if you wanted to come home and chew your wrists instead.

  8. Sorry to hear, Cin, the pud didn’t live up to its promise (looks delicious!). I hadn’t heard of Nectatots, but will look for them – it sounds a great combination of fruits. Um… the roses blush beautifully. 😀

  9. LOL! What a great start to what is a very wet day here in Sydney. Puffy eyes are small price to pay for sleeping like a log, Cin, particularly as you seemed to have been deprived of such over the last few months. And regardless of the fact that your nectacot creation tasted vile, the photo is a sight to soothe the puffiest of eyes.

  10. Oh, your creation looks fabulous, so sad it tasted blah! As for the PH, I’d love to know if it works for my pup stirs my allergies like crazy and I wake puffy now that we are in winter and I shut most the windows. Whole post was a feast for the eyes (smile) ~

  11. there are few things finer than slumping on a garden chair, with or without a parrot on one’s shoulder, and drinking a chilledd chardonnay on a hot day

  12. LOL at the clicks pharmacist! Ever since we had Dischem this side I don’t know when last I went to clicks. and Dischem points come quicker and bigger than clicks, hehe!
    Maybe with ordinary white tastic rice it would have worked, will try Nectacots, I seldom get a sweet apricot but my sister and Dad love them anyway.
    Have a lovely Monday 😉

  13. I want a pizzelle iron too! I’ve never seen them here, but Heidi had them on her blog this week, and now I’m desperate to find one! And oh you poor dear, yes you must be very sore… 😉

    I’ve never seen nectacots, but we have had pluots here for a few years, and my boys LOVE them. Haven’t seen any this year yet…

  14. Ek het weer iewers gelees mens moenie daardie room naby jou oë gebruik nie aangesien die vel rondom jou oë baie fyner is. Is tog nuuskierig om te hoor hoe dit vir jou werk!

    hmmmm wanneer blog jy ‘n foto van jou tancanstorie?

  15. Oh my goodness what a beautiful presentation! Although I have yet to find a bottle of wine that I like I keep trying them based on the label and that label would make me try that one, it just looks fun.

    I have heard that about preparation H before but I have been too embarrassed to buy it 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s