BULLETS AND HUMPS

BULLETS:
• My favourite neighbour in our little street was the victim of an armed hijack & house robbery on Monday. Luckily she was not physically hurt.
• My husband is away on business this week. I’m always unsettled when he’s not here, but more so now because of the aforementioned robbers.
• I’m sleeping in shifts; deep sleep in the early evening and site patrols in the late hours. With a cricket bat, in case. When I can’t get back to sleep, I practice cookie decorating. This baffled our security company at 2am this morning and they came to investigate. I made them coffee and gave them slices of chocolate bread.
• If a recipe specifies two layer pans, don’t try and be clever and use a loaf pan instead. You’ll end up with a humped loaf and your Facebook friends will have loads of fun out of it:

Cindy: My loaf cake looks a bit like a camel.
Melanie: Animal or cigarette?
Cindy: Animal, big hump in the middle, Chelsea thinks it’s awesome, like chocolate bread ;p
Liane: I’ll eat it blind folded if that’ll help 😀
Linda: One hump or two? ;-P
Cindy: One … is that a Dromedaris?
Linda: One of JVR’s ships?? Must have been some hump! 🙂
Cindy: Haha, which one has two humps? Does a Llama have a hump?
Linda: The dromedary has one hump. The lama does not have a hump, but spits like a Redneck.
Cindy: Ah, Googled it; the Dromedary has one hump.
Linda: That’s what I said… Look down… 🙂
Cindy: What’s a Redneck, like from the farms and new in the city?
Linda: Like from the South in the USA.. Like from.. You know you’re a redneck when your sister is also your mother, etc.
Cindy: Oh … Gomers!
Linda: Bwhahahahaha! Yep, those ones.
Brenda: My cousin Larry said his cousin Larry and other brother Larry love camel loafing.
Linda: As long as it is loafing and not toeing, it should be fine. *giggle*
Colleen: HAHAHAHAHA!! You lot are hysterical. And this all because a loaf has one lump and not toe…I mean TWO???
Brenda: I think they actually meant humping. Too much moonshine, methinks.

And, as my dear friend Charlie says, so it goes … happy hump day, everyone …

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68 thoughts on “BULLETS AND HUMPS

  1. So glad your neighbour is okay. I don’t miss that fear, I can tell you. When the Hub was away, I used to bring Tory Boy into my bed (Spud not around then), lock the door, pull a heavy kist in front of it, and sleep with a gun under the pillow, with the light on. I lived on my nerves.

  2. Funny story about the humps, Cindy! Sorry to hear you don’t feel safe at the moment. But sharing cookies with the security people is at least better than spending the time on your own.

  3. I am shocked at the bunch of you. There I was doing family stuff and you were all giggling away.

    The security chappies will come past every evening now. Better security for you.

  4. Sorry to hear about your neighbour’s hijacking and break-in! WHEN WILL IT ALL STOP? So pleased that you have built a good relationship with your security company people – your kindness will go a long way.
    Bet your hump cake tastes great.
    🙂 Mandy

  5. Mmm – can’t you find a big strapping young lad to come and look after you whilst old Spouse is away – and no, not in that way either!!
    Happy humpety hump day to you too!!

  6. Hump day – reminds me of my Mom. She always called Wednesday either “hill day,” or “hump day.” And I can’t help adding to your friend Charlie’s “so it goes” comment, and quote one of my favorite Billy Joel songs, “And so it goes, and so it goes, and so will I soon, I suppose. . .” The song’s not at all a humorous one, but that’s the one line that came to mind as I finished reading your post.

    All my loaf cakes and breads have a hump on top – I thought that was what they were supposed to look like! What did you think – that it would come out flat as a pancake? Don’t your cakes baked in cake pans have an at least temporary rise in the middle (until they cool down, at least)? Hmmm. . .maybe there’s something you know that I don’t! Fancy that! 😀

  7. Get your hounds in there with you Cin. about the cricket bat make sure you are ready to use it with deadly force if necessary or it will be used on you. LOL re the hump cake comments

  8. Hi Cin, it would be sad if the security guys are in on it and at least now that you are friendly with them they might tell you the truth about the break ins that’s if they know.

  9. Sorry to hear you not safe at the moment Cindy but I do love your attitude of circling the joint with a cricket bat – I always thought Aussies had a never fear & she’ll be right mate attitude, but geez luv, you sound super tough with your vigilance – lets hope the baddies steer clear of your place & leave you guys in peace.

  10. I am so laughing at your convo about spitting like a redneck! Tell them they can even get more specific and research West Virginia…that is according to my friend who recently moved there from Virginia! Yes, we do have our fair share of them in Virginia, too! No camels though, but we do have llamas! But I just want a piece of that chocolate bread!

  11. thanks, I really needed a laugh (and not at your cake, at the comments!) I would get a night guard rather than walk around with my cricket bat – be safe xxx

  12. That’s horrible! I hate to think about that. My daughter and I walked around the walking trail last night when it was far too late to be doing that. I was more worried about the bear sighted in the next town over than a robber. I have never heard of a bear in this area, thats insane. I sure hope they catch those bad guys. Maybe you could rig up a sting operation with lots of your good food!!

  13. That’s scary ~ especially thinking that the security guards are “in on it.” I’m glad she wasn’t injured. BFF was gone for 6 nights last week. Normally, that puts me on edge. But it didn’t this time. I slept sans sabre.

    Glad your Facebook friends put a happy spin on HUMP day for you!

    {{spits like a llama, pretending to be a camel}}

  14. So sorry that anyone has to live with such fear. Wow! I once had to fire a very bad-tempered littly missy who had druggie friends. I bought a can of hornet spray and kept it by my bed. It shoots a lengthy spray and temporarily blinds if sprayed in the face. Thankfully, I’ve not had to use it, but it did give me a feeling of having a fighting chance. I’m not sure I’d be able to find my very sharp ski pole!

    I just delivered some humpy banana bread loaves to the man who fixed my plumbing. I even got a kiss! Not bad for a Wednesday. He and I each love having our own homes. Go figure.

  15. Seriously Cindy?! Entertaining at 2 in the morning? Not on. Keep the dogs close and the sabrage sabre closer.

    Humpy cakebread looks delicious with a nice cup of coffee – pity that the young one scoff it all!

    (PS: Neat new comment system on theWP.com blogs I see – been trying to get something similar to work via plugins over on BlaBla for ages – unsuccessfully. Hope they make it a feature for self-hosted sites soon…)

  16. Crikey, girl… I wouldn’t like tomeet you up a dark alley with a cricket bat in the early hours. Poor you.

    On another note, may I ask what a two layer pan is? (Is it a pair of Victoria sponge tins?

    • Yes Pseu, Victoria sponge tins 🙂
      And I was thinking more along the lines of rapping someone over the knuckles as they try to climb in the window than actual face-to-face combat with the cricket bat 😉

  17. I am really glad your neighbour is unharmed, Cin – I can say, from personal experience, unharmed or not, it is a terrifying experience, the effects of which play out in all sorts of odd ways – I hope your neighbour gets some counselling – the police are normally pretty good about insisting on this. And bribing the security chaps with humpy cake is a great strategy! Stay safe

  18. I’ll have anyone’s piece who has a problem with the hump 🙂 I hate to waste food 😦 Yummy!

  19. Boo, about the neighbors. Thank you so much for the laugh…”animal or cigarette?” ha! Redneck, White Trash… it all gets a little dicey down South, that’s why it’s a fun place to visit ~

  20. For inside the house, lose the cricket bat and get something long and sharp. Even a walking stick without a rubber bit on the end is good. Prodding is far more effective than hitting.

    That conversation is hilarious.

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