“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time – the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes – when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever – there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.”
John Irving (A Prayer for Owen Meany)

Oh, for one last conversation. I wouldn’t talk much, I’d want to listen in on you and your grand daughter, who – just by the way – looks so much like you that it sometimes takes my breath away.

I started cooking early today; my mother in law is coming to lunch tomorrow, along with my good friend, Sidey. You’d love Sidey, but you wouldn’t like my MIL at all; she once made the Bunn sleep on the floor. I’d asked her to babysit as we were going to a wedding and would stay in a hotel overnight. When I arrived the next morning, she explained that her dog didn’t like anyone taking his place on the bed. I never let her babysit again. She also throws away the handmade cards my dort makes for her; you would never do that.

You’d approve of my menu; we’re having French onion soup, a roasted lamb guard of honour and a mixed berry tart. I’d have got you some of that dreadful Drostdy-Hof Extra Light wine you loved.

And I’d tuck a blanky around you for an afternoon nap on my couch …


71 Comments Add yours

  1. souldipper says:

    Oh, Cin…so beautiful.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you, Amy 🙂

    2. Geez Cindy, you’ve got me choking up here. Its lovely how your keeping her alive in you – my Mom does that with my Dad sometimes too. Happy Mothers Day to you girl xx

      1. theonlycin says:

        Thank you Cheffie 🙂

  2. LOvely one. And that menu!!!!!!!!!! as you said – come hungry!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Kitchen smells nice 🙂

  3. I think I would have enjoyed meeting your mother

  4. Madmom says:

    Your Mom was so pretty, Cindy.
    I still miss my Mom – 17 years on.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks, Madmom, so many things left unsaid 😦

  5. nzwaa says:

    She looks a lot like her grand-daughter. She is so beautiful.
    I did something similiar last night but I’m not sure I’m ready to blog about it.

    1. theonlycin says:

      You can tell me about it tomorrow 🙂

  6. earlybird says:

    I hope you have a lovely lunch – nice that you’ve planned a menu your mum would have liked. She clearly had good taste too!

    Here’s a toast to her.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Ta very much, earlybird 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      We just learn to roll with it, Tilly 🙂

  7. sue chef says:

    Lovely. *wipes eyes*

    1. theonlycin says:

      Check your mascara, Sue 😉

  8. nursemyra says:

    I’ve only seen photos of you (not your daughter) but I’d say you look a lot like your mother too

    1. theonlycin says:

      50/50 mix between my mom and dad, Myra.

  9. Beautiful!
    🙂 Mandy

    1. theonlycin says:

      *heart* Mandy 🙂

  10. mairedubhtx says:

    This was very touching. It was lovely. My heart goes out to you.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks so much 🙂

  11. What a special person she must have been. You brought her to us today. Thanks 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Happy mothers’ day, Katie 🙂

  12. Thank you for introducing your Mom to me (us). She was beautiful, and remains so – in you and her granddaughter. Bunn might look a lot like her, but you do too, Cin!

    I find myself so often wishing my Mom could see this or that thing or person – her great grandchildren, for example – she did not live to see their births, but I stop myself when I realize that she not only sees them but she was there when they were born and hovers around us all quite frequently! What I am bemoaning is that I can’t see her seeing them! I would love to see the look on her face when she lays her eyes on our Zoë!

    Those of us blessed with extraordinary mothers know a blessing that cannot be quantified or analyzed. It stays with us like a scent that buries itself in our clothing, and cannot be washed away. You walk into a room and sense something in the air and instantly the thought comes to mind and your heart skips a beat, “Mom!”

    Blessings on Mother’s Day! Just think, you are creating those memories for your Bunn, and she will treasure them as you do your own.

    1. theonlycin says:

      A beautiful comment, thank you Paula. xxx

  13. suzicate says:

    Simply beautiful. I see you in your mother.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I love that, thanks Suzi 🙂

  14. nrhatch says:

    Lovely tribute. You share her eyes ~ twinkling with merriment!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Merriment is exactly the right word, thanks Nancy 🙂

  15. slpmartin says:

    A wonderful remembrance.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Merci, Charles 🙂

  16. The introduction about losing one’s mother unexpectedly is so true to life. A tear trickled from my eye as I read it. Your mother looks very sweet. What a beautiful smile! I think you look a lot like her. Blessings to you, Cindy…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Carol, bless you too 🙂

  17. Happy Mother’s Day too you! I have a similiar MIL story. What I want to know is how did you explain to her about not ever letting her babysit again? I am still getting flack about that and my kids are grown.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I simply never spoke about it again, it’s a sad thing 😦

  18. Yvette says:

    Have a wonderful Mothers Day…cherished memories! x

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Yvette 🙂

  19. Liane says:

    I hope your dort doesn’t know about the cards… Sleeping on the floor for the dog! I don’t blame you making alternative arrangements after that 😦

    Isn’t it just sad for all those for whom mother’s day does not hold the warmth, comfort and miss of a great mother? I envy those who have such wonderful memories of their parents… What that must be like…

    Happy mother’s day, Cin! I hope it is special for you 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Sorry you don’t have good memories, big hug 😦

  20. johnlmalone says:

    Cindy: If I had a hat I’d take it off to you: it’s fabulous the number of replies you get and the amazing thing is you get these replies every time! I don’t know how you do it. You obviously have mastered the \art of blogging

    1. theonlycin says:

      It’s a mystery to me too, John 🙂

  21. to lovely. thank u cin for sharing this w us.
    btw, prayer for owen meany is one of my top 10 favs. hugs to u momma!

    1. theonlycin says:

      It’s a fabulous novel, Doc 🙂

  22. libraryscene says:

    a beautiful tribute to your mother’s memory… I shall keep my quiet on the MIL as I’ve nothing kind to say 😉 Happy Mother’s Day ~

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks so much, Ms Librarian 🙂

  23. Very touching tribute, pretty eyes, the two of you.Thanks for sharing those thoughts and words.
    Have a beautiful day, chère Cindy.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I hope you were treated well, my friend 🙂

  24. bluebee says:

    So sweet, Cin – and rather generous of you not to have cut MIL off completely, I would say. And you cooked her lunch! Oi vey

    1. theonlycin says:

      It was a nice day, BB 🙂

  25. MissChris says:

    How beautiful and how beautiful your mom was too – I can so much see you and your sister when I look at that picture. Moms are such special people – I miss mine dreadfully too. xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Hugs Chrissie 🙂

  26. Jo says:

    Beautiful – and makes me tearful.

    My daughter visited from the UK, and as we sat one night around a table of guests debating various issues, we found each other forming a united front – all I could think of was how my Mom (a fiesty and charming debater) would have been sitting right there with us. Actually, I guess she was…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Lovely comment, Jo xxx

  27. Lyndatjie says:

    This made me cry… The quote at the top is very true and heartbreakingly familiar… 😦

    1. theonlycin says:

      Sorry *passes Lynda a mascara removal swab*

  28. dearrosie says:

    Such a beautiful tribute to your Mom! You managed to capture so much with so few words!
    I think you look like your Mom.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks, Rosie 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Dankie Tok *heart*

  29. Well I just had to go and inadvertenly (sp) ruin my mil’s day. ugh. dang it. if you tell me we are going somewhere local then I expect it to be within 10 miles or so. And I don’t have to make plans for the dogs and I can will just like it better that way!!!! And how is stating the fact that I will bow out and let the rest of you have fun such a bad thing?! I mean really. So what if I don’t want too go?! I hate holidays.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Each to her own, stay home if you want to 🙂

  30. BB says:

    A truly beautiful ode this.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks so much, BB 🙂

  31. Naomi says:

    What a special tribute to your Mom, Cindy. So sorry for your loss and touched that you keep her memory so vividly alive. I hope your day was altogether lovely, xo

    1. theonlycin says:

      It turned out very well, Naomi 🙂

  32. You look so alike!!!
    I would battle to cook for a MIL like that. My hat off to you!

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