An invention has to make sense in the world it finishes in, not in the world it started. Tim O’Reilly

This holds true about marriage; that heady, romantic world of the early days in a relationship cannot be sustained.  Washing machines, homeloans, insurance policies and children’s school routines intrude and all but obliterate the memories of the days of wine and roses. Occasions must be invented to rekindle old fires.

With experience of this, I have come to give the following stock warning to every bride on the eve of her wedding:

If you give up your independence to share your life with someone, it should be a state of existence that improves on being single.  Sometimes, not all the time of course, but sometimes when you’re sitting down to breakfast opposite each other or getting into a car together or just lying in each other’s arms, you should catch your breath and think:

Being with this person here and now is what lends reason to and makes logic of everything else in the world.


My thoughts on this come as a result of the online competitions happening at the moment; many wineries are giving away lovely products to people who come up with the most romantic meals.

My husband doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but I would love to take up this challenge. Being away from my kitchen day after day, as I currently am, I am beginning to grieve for it.

I shall have to invent a reason for a formal dinner; a rose-strewn table and some chocolate-dipped strawberries.

The man will, no doubt, think I have gone insane …

For more contributions to the theme go to:



  1. What true words. It’s like Kahlil Gibran says :
    Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
    For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
    And stand together yet not too near together:
    For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
    And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

  2. Your take on this reminds me of the show I saw last night: I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change!
    Men are an invention that create invention in women – that is, taking a deep breath, and keeping the vent IN!

  3. I love your take on the theme. Funnily enough, my own take mentions washing machines and marriage.

    Hope you get the romantic meal you want. I feel sure you will make it happen.

  4. btw – I have re-skimmed your draft novel – I hope it isn’t still on the back-burner. Make time somehow even for a paragraph or page a day. (I’m preaching to myself, here, too!)

  5. I think ’tis still true even today that the way to a man’s heart is to cook him a delicious dinner; adding the roses and chocolate dipped strawberries will make it even better. . If you can do this without losing our own spirit of romance in the task, you are truly gifted. I believe you can do it. I see marital romance in your future. Blessings to you, Cindy…

  6. Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day in S.A.? It’s an event invented just for wine, roses, and chocolate dipped strawberries . . .

    I expected you would begin to miss your kitchen after 2 weeks away from it. 🙂

  7. I wouldn’t worry about people thinking you are insane.
    Publicly i hit the fan years ago.
    Hasn’t done me no harm. lol
    I bet you could rustle up something pretty amazing with your knowledge

  8. Are you kidding?!?!? From what I’ve seen of your culinary talents on here, every meal you create is a mouth-watering and passionate event. We should all be so insane. 🙂

  9. Ha! Ha! Your response to Naomi – that was my guy – only he’d cover everything with marinara!!!!

    Happy Days of Wine and Rose, Cindy.

    They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
    Love and desire and hate:
    I think they have no portion in us after
    We pass the gate.
    They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
    Out of a misty dream
    Our path emerges for a while, then closes
    Within a dream.
    Edwin Dowson

    Well, that was cheerful now, wasn’t it?

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