An invention has to make sense in the world it finishes in, not in the world it started. Tim O’Reilly

This holds true about marriage; that heady, romantic world of the early days in a relationship cannot be sustained.  Washing machines, homeloans, insurance policies and children’s school routines intrude and all but obliterate the memories of the days of wine and roses. Occasions must be invented to rekindle old fires.

With experience of this, I have come to give the following stock warning to every bride on the eve of her wedding:

If you give up your independence to share your life with someone, it should be a state of existence that improves on being single.  Sometimes, not all the time of course, but sometimes when you’re sitting down to breakfast opposite each other or getting into a car together or just lying in each other’s arms, you should catch your breath and think:

Being with this person here and now is what lends reason to and makes logic of everything else in the world.


My thoughts on this come as a result of the online competitions happening at the moment; many wineries are giving away lovely products to people who come up with the most romantic meals.

My husband doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, but I would love to take up this challenge. Being away from my kitchen day after day, as I currently am, I am beginning to grieve for it.

I shall have to invent a reason for a formal dinner; a rose-strewn table and some chocolate-dipped strawberries.

The man will, no doubt, think I have gone insane …

For more contributions to the theme go to:


43 Comments Add yours

  1. Rosemary says:

    What true words. It’s like Kahlil Gibran says :
    Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
    For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
    And stand together yet not too near together:
    For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
    And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thumbs up to that, Rosemary!

  2. I think the non-romantic thing with men is quite often in their make up (not the cosmetic kind) and use that as an excuse.
    What about the theme “Just because you can and want to”?
    🙂 Mandy

    1. theonlycin says:

      Ah, excellent theme, I’ll do it 🙂

  3. A plebean moment: just can’t get Samantha’s sushi from Sex In The City out of my head. The strawberry is responsible. Hmmmmm.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Erm … I couldn’t watch that programme, really dislike SJP 😦

  4. Tandy says:

    ditto what Rose said 🙂 hope the choc dipped strawberries go down well. Hopefully Dave remembers to take me out …

    1. theonlycin says:

      mm … he’d better not forget!

  5. Supa says:

    It’s a guy thing, Himself is the same.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Oh well, nothing we can do to change them *sigh*

  6. colonialist says:

    Your take on this reminds me of the show I saw last night: I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change!
    Men are an invention that create invention in women – that is, taking a deep breath, and keeping the vent IN!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Ve have vays und means of venting out too *evil grin*

  7. Tilly Bud says:

    I love your take on the theme. Funnily enough, my own take mentions washing machines and marriage.

    Hope you get the romantic meal you want. I feel sure you will make it happen.

    1. theonlycin says:

      It will provide blog fodder, if nothing else 😉

  8. colonialist says:

    btw – I have re-skimmed your draft novel – I hope it isn’t still on the back-burner. Make time somehow even for a paragraph or page a day. (I’m preaching to myself, here, too!)

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks for the encouragement, Col, I must confess I’d forgotten completely about Stuart in the last few months.

  9. I have an idea- lets invent an event for me to taste your new inventions for tastebuds?

    1. theonlycin says:

      That’s a fab idea, bokkie, I do things like that from time to time, will keep you posted. Just a warning that my friends tend to swim in their clothes at my events …

  10. invent an occasion? so many to choose from. it’s national hubby’s favourite food day?

    1. theonlycin says:

      Pfft, maybe I’ll save it for when Ulla’s here and you lot come over!

  11. slpmartin says:

    Oh now…not all of us are non-romantic in nature. 😉

    1. theonlycin says:

      Ah, Charlie, but you’re rare …

  12. halfp1nt says:

    Definitely a guy thing. Hubby leaves again on Monday morning, and I’d bet my last cent he’s forgotten ;-/

    1. theonlycin says:

      Best drop lots of hints, Shorty!

  13. I think ’tis still true even today that the way to a man’s heart is to cook him a delicious dinner; adding the roses and chocolate dipped strawberries will make it even better. . If you can do this without losing our own spirit of romance in the task, you are truly gifted. I believe you can do it. I see marital romance in your future. Blessings to you, Cindy…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Very uplifting comment, thanks Carol 🙂

  14. nrhatch says:

    Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day in S.A.? It’s an event invented just for wine, roses, and chocolate dipped strawberries . . .

    I expected you would begin to miss your kitchen after 2 weeks away from it. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      It’s an event created for profit, don’t buy into it myself.

  15. souldipper says:

    Do it anyway, Cin. Do it for you. By God, if I could cook like you, I’d let the reason fall out of the sky. At the last mouthful if necessary.

    1. theonlycin says:

      You are too kind, Amy 🙂

  16. granny1947 says:

    I agree with Souldipper.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Love you, Hon, hope you feel better soon 🙂 xxx

  17. libraryscene says:

    Hmm…would he be more inclined to a progressive romantic dinner? Say, each course leads to various articles of attire removed leading to an a natural dessert course?

    1. theonlycin says:

      Bwahahaha, that scenario is but a very vague memory …

  18. Adeeyoyo says:

    It does seem to be a ‘guy thing’. My daughter-in-law got it right (I think) by marrying my son on Valentine’s Day. So now he DARE not forget!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Hmph! I married my husband on my birthday and this year he forgot the birthday and the anniversary 😦

  19. Artswebshow says:

    I wouldn’t worry about people thinking you are insane.
    Publicly i hit the fan years ago.
    Hasn’t done me no harm. lol
    I bet you could rustle up something pretty amazing with your knowledge

    1. theonlycin says:

      haha, you’re too funny 😉

  20. grandawn says:

    Are you kidding?!?!? From what I’ve seen of your culinary talents on here, every meal you create is a mouth-watering and passionate event. We should all be so insane. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Aw shucks, thanks grandawn 🙂

  21. Naomi says:

    Delicious post, as ever, Cindy! Methinks the man will melt for it 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      Not likely, he’ll probably cover it in chutney and eat in front of the telly …

  22. Ha! Ha! Your response to Naomi – that was my guy – only he’d cover everything with marinara!!!!

    Happy Days of Wine and Rose, Cindy.

    They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
    Love and desire and hate:
    I think they have no portion in us after
    We pass the gate.
    They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
    Out of a misty dream
    Our path emerges for a while, then closes
    Within a dream.
    Edwin Dowson

    Well, that was cheerful now, wasn’t it?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s