NOT FAIR, NO REASON

Today’s theme prompt from the Dailypost.wordpress.com crowd raises the debate as to whether everything happens for a reason. This question comes in the wake of a total meltdown of one of my closest friends. Her entire world has crumbled over the past few months; a once successful business has turned to disaster in the blink of an eye. Her beautiful holiday home has been overtaken by drug-dealing squatters who have gutted the house completely – doors and windows have been removed and all her furniture has disappeared. The police are powerless and she must resort to dealing with a shady character, whom she will have to pay to go and forcibly remove the squatters.

I can’t begin to describe her anguish yesterday. All she could say, repeatedly, was WHY?

I don’t have the answer. Life’s just unfair sometimes.

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60 thoughts on “NOT FAIR, NO REASON

  1. That is so hard.

    Interesting that the police are powerless. Can one get the press involved maybe?

    She is having some sort of clear out for a new life to begin, always so very very difficult to do

  2. I completely- agree, things do not happen for a reason! However i do think that in time you are able to find a silver lining in teh things that have happened, no matter how bad they have been. Even if it just to make you a bigger, better stronger person.
    xx

  3. When we trust that everything WILL benefit us down the road . . . it allows us to manage things from a better place while it’s happening.

    We don’t collapse in despair ~ we exist with an alert curiosity: “Hmm . . . what’s all this then?”

    The problem is that we get attached to our lives as they are and insist on hanging on tight to anything and everything ~ including the illusion of financial security.

    Once we learn to let go of things as their “season” ends, we have both arms open to embrace the future with its infinite possibilities.

    If your friend could see 5 years down the road to know that she is in a better place as a result of this hardship, it would become less of a hardship and more of a “rite of passage.”

    Damn! Where’s FutureVision when you need it?

    Hope your friend finds the strength (and acceptance) she needs to manage these changes in her life.

  4. My heart goes out to her. We had a similar thing happen with a little house we bought years ago to restore and refurbish. We enjoyed the project, and had managed to get it in shape enough to be lived in fairly comfortably when we were transferred to a community too far away to be able to work on it as much as we wanted, so we rented it to a young woman with a couple of children. We planned on hanging on to the house and someday retire there.

    It became a nightmare. The tenant completely trashed the house and quit paying rent. She “squatted” there, and then without our knowledge, she “sublet” it, and pocketed the money. Here is the way we eventually turned the nightmare into the dream home we live in now:

    It took a long time, a lot of trial and error, but we managed at last to sell the house. We lost a bit of money on the deal, but we were “out from under” that burden and still came out with a small down payment we put in savings and used to help finance the wonderful place where we now live.

    I have told you this story because I want to share a bit of what we learned. We believe that everything does happen for a reason, but rather than sit around and try and figure it out, we decided to create out own. Sometimes it is up to us to come up with a way to make lemonade. When we do, we have been given our reason and strengthened in the process. That’s small comfort now for your friend, but perhaps she can turn it all around and create an advantage out of misfortune. Given time and a chance to recover and rest a bit, she will be able to create her reason, too. In the meantime, tell her she is being prayed for!

    XOXO,
    Paula

  5. Pingback: Embrace All With Joy « Spirit Lights The Way

  6. My heart really goes out to your friend Cindy. Why do terrible things happen to such good people? I really don’t think there’s a reason…it’s just some awful turn of events in a world that is often so unfair. I pray that her problems are resolved soon xx

  7. I believe that all things work out for good – in the end, and it’s address is “hindsight”. Sometimes things happen in our lives to teach us deeper character, and sometimes it also repositions us for different purpose. Is it easy? HELL NO! My own life is in the process of some major change and I’ve been experiencing some things that have made me look in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened to the person I used to know as I stare at the bewildered stranger falling apart in the mirror. This story does make me think of a story though: A few years back – at a time that wasn’t convenient for me at all emotionally – my television was struck by lightning. Maybe doesn’t sound like much, but I was dying of loneliness and struggling financially and that television was my lifeline. My attitude became one of “well, who knows where resolving this might lead to; maybe there’s someone out there just waiting to meet me.” Lo and behold that broken television lead me down a path to meet someone who came from a background of drugs, satanism and some skunky friends. I was rather reluctant to mix with his “type”, but over the next two years his life started changing in ways that was so profound that you could see it on his face. Many a tune changed from when people first saw him and warned me to run, vs. the person they saw a few months down the line. That friendship made a significant impact in his life, as well as in mine. Plus, in the end of it all I ended up with a much improved model television that I didn’t even have to pay for. Eventually I had it, but barely watched it anymore – it became background noise in more ways than one. I learned some valuable lessons and I grew in my character, and when the season was over the friendship also ended. If my television was not struck by lightning I would have no reason to cross this young man’s life. Maybe your friend’s life needs to cross paths with something/someone that she is yet to discover and this disaster will be exactly what moves her where she needs to be emotionally, physically and spiritually; somewhere she would never have gone to otherwise. Life is not always fair – and maybe sometimes there is no significant reason – but it is who it makes us in the end that matters, because with what is INside of us we can create OUTside of us no matter where we go, and if it’s IN you no one can take it away – your “thumbprint”. And eventually you find yourself giving more, more freely, instead of holding too tight and feeling like someone is prying from you. Your focus zooms in on treasure beyond what money can buy, and simply start enjoying whatever blessings come as an additional bonus – and somehow, sometimes, they even seem to come to you more easily. Praying for your friend.

  8. Times like this I am neither cerebral nor constructive. I just hang on in there by the skin of my teeth, spend lots of time feeling angry and using any time left to help where I can. Lose all my perspective and just remind myself: Keep Buggering On…

  9. Life IS unfair at times. May God help your friend get through this awful event and bring some good out of it for her. Everything that happens is not good. Out of bad things, blessings may come, and I hope there will be a beautiful silver lining for your friend. I feel very sorry for her. How awful! Blessings…

  10. I feel for her. I don’t think things happen for a reason per se, and although I have railed at injustice as much as anybody, from my present vantage point I’m not at all convinced I would change a thing that happened in my longish life…

  11. So frustrating and sad – be her friend, what more can you do. I suppose one shouldn’t wish evil on others but perhaps this time a little squatter squall is in order!

  12. Terribly stressful for your friend – I have a friend whose property was taken over in a similar way in JHB and she ended up leaving SA. I think most of what happens to us is completely random and yet it’s bizarre that we seem to be hard-wired to look for meaning in everything.Just my opinion but I don’t believe that good always comes from bad or that there are always lessons to be learned from negative events. Sometimes this happens but not always. And I think it’s easier to get on with things if we face up to this (what I see as) reality. I know not everyone will agree with that.

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