NOT FAIR, NO REASON

Today’s theme prompt from the Dailypost.wordpress.com crowd raises the debate as to whether everything happens for a reason. This question comes in the wake of a total meltdown of one of my closest friends. Her entire world has crumbled over the past few months; a once successful business has turned to disaster in the blink of an eye. Her beautiful holiday home has been overtaken by drug-dealing squatters who have gutted the house completely – doors and windows have been removed and all her furniture has disappeared. The police are powerless and she must resort to dealing with a shady character, whom she will have to pay to go and forcibly remove the squatters.

I can’t begin to describe her anguish yesterday. All she could say, repeatedly, was WHY?

I don’t have the answer. Life’s just unfair sometimes.

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60 Comments Add yours

  1. Madmom says:

    Oh my. Poor woman. I hope things turn around for her.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I’m sick with worry over her 😦

  2. deepercolors says:

    OMG. Sorry to hear this. Sympathy is all I can offer from here.

    1. theonlycin says:

      It’s terrible and I feel so helpless for her.

  3. That is so hard.

    Interesting that the police are powerless. Can one get the press involved maybe?

    She is having some sort of clear out for a new life to begin, always so very very difficult to do

    1. theonlycin says:

      My heart bleeds for her.

  4. nzwaa says:

    So sad.

  5. Oh Cindy, what shattering news! I am sending a comforting hug for your friend.
    I like to believe that out of every adversity comes good.
    🙂 Mandy

  6. leigh says:

    So hard to see the light when it’s dark.

  7. I completely- agree, things do not happen for a reason! However i do think that in time you are able to find a silver lining in teh things that have happened, no matter how bad they have been. Even if it just to make you a bigger, better stronger person.
    xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Just hard to deal with at the moment.

    2. nrhatch says:

      Perhaps the reason, then, is to make us “bigger, better and stronger”? 😉

  8. Stephanie Hill says:

    This is awful Cindy. Our police really are useless.

    1. theonlycin says:

      They just can’t get rid of the squatters, it’s so frustrating.

  9. granny1947 says:

    Hi My Friend…makes one grateful for our little problems…wow…that sure is a lot to handle.

    1. theonlycin says:

      The gall of these people to just waste her house away like that 😦

  10. I’m so sorry to hear this, Cindy, but I’m glad to hear she has a friend like you standing by her and supporting her through this. I hope justice is served.
    Sunshine xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      I doubt very much that it will be though 😦

  11. nrhatch says:

    When we trust that everything WILL benefit us down the road . . . it allows us to manage things from a better place while it’s happening.

    We don’t collapse in despair ~ we exist with an alert curiosity: “Hmm . . . what’s all this then?”

    The problem is that we get attached to our lives as they are and insist on hanging on tight to anything and everything ~ including the illusion of financial security.

    Once we learn to let go of things as their “season” ends, we have both arms open to embrace the future with its infinite possibilities.

    If your friend could see 5 years down the road to know that she is in a better place as a result of this hardship, it would become less of a hardship and more of a “rite of passage.”

    Damn! Where’s FutureVision when you need it?

    Hope your friend finds the strength (and acceptance) she needs to manage these changes in her life.

    1. nrhatch says:

      If you think it would help her:
      http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2011/01/12/embrace-all-with-joy/

      “With expanded cognition, we find that the “negative events” we resisted resulted in valuable lessons and navigational aids for our journey.”

  12. My heart goes out to her. We had a similar thing happen with a little house we bought years ago to restore and refurbish. We enjoyed the project, and had managed to get it in shape enough to be lived in fairly comfortably when we were transferred to a community too far away to be able to work on it as much as we wanted, so we rented it to a young woman with a couple of children. We planned on hanging on to the house and someday retire there.

    It became a nightmare. The tenant completely trashed the house and quit paying rent. She “squatted” there, and then without our knowledge, she “sublet” it, and pocketed the money. Here is the way we eventually turned the nightmare into the dream home we live in now:

    It took a long time, a lot of trial and error, but we managed at last to sell the house. We lost a bit of money on the deal, but we were “out from under” that burden and still came out with a small down payment we put in savings and used to help finance the wonderful place where we now live.

    I have told you this story because I want to share a bit of what we learned. We believe that everything does happen for a reason, but rather than sit around and try and figure it out, we decided to create out own. Sometimes it is up to us to come up with a way to make lemonade. When we do, we have been given our reason and strengthened in the process. That’s small comfort now for your friend, but perhaps she can turn it all around and create an advantage out of misfortune. Given time and a chance to recover and rest a bit, she will be able to create her reason, too. In the meantime, tell her she is being prayed for!

    XOXO,
    Paula

    1. I just read Nancy’s response! Once again, we’re very much in sync. Must mean we have given some good counsel – after all, Nancy and I have created this “unholy alliance” (without design, BTW) for some reason or other! Cheers! 😀

    2. nrhatch says:

      Here’s to alert curiosity, acceptance . . . and FutureVision! 😉

      1. theonlycin says:

        You two really rock 🙂

  13. Naomi says:

    So sorry to hear this about your friend, Cindy. I hope things look up soonest for her.

  14. Chloe says:

    My heart really goes out to your friend Cindy. Why do terrible things happen to such good people? I really don’t think there’s a reason…it’s just some awful turn of events in a world that is often so unfair. I pray that her problems are resolved soon xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you Chloe, we’ll just have to wait and see if the knee-breaker is more effective than the police.

  15. Liane says:

    I believe that all things work out for good – in the end, and it’s address is “hindsight”. Sometimes things happen in our lives to teach us deeper character, and sometimes it also repositions us for different purpose. Is it easy? HELL NO! My own life is in the process of some major change and I’ve been experiencing some things that have made me look in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened to the person I used to know as I stare at the bewildered stranger falling apart in the mirror. This story does make me think of a story though: A few years back – at a time that wasn’t convenient for me at all emotionally – my television was struck by lightning. Maybe doesn’t sound like much, but I was dying of loneliness and struggling financially and that television was my lifeline. My attitude became one of “well, who knows where resolving this might lead to; maybe there’s someone out there just waiting to meet me.” Lo and behold that broken television lead me down a path to meet someone who came from a background of drugs, satanism and some skunky friends. I was rather reluctant to mix with his “type”, but over the next two years his life started changing in ways that was so profound that you could see it on his face. Many a tune changed from when people first saw him and warned me to run, vs. the person they saw a few months down the line. That friendship made a significant impact in his life, as well as in mine. Plus, in the end of it all I ended up with a much improved model television that I didn’t even have to pay for. Eventually I had it, but barely watched it anymore – it became background noise in more ways than one. I learned some valuable lessons and I grew in my character, and when the season was over the friendship also ended. If my television was not struck by lightning I would have no reason to cross this young man’s life. Maybe your friend’s life needs to cross paths with something/someone that she is yet to discover and this disaster will be exactly what moves her where she needs to be emotionally, physically and spiritually; somewhere she would never have gone to otherwise. Life is not always fair – and maybe sometimes there is no significant reason – but it is who it makes us in the end that matters, because with what is INside of us we can create OUTside of us no matter where we go, and if it’s IN you no one can take it away – your “thumbprint”. And eventually you find yourself giving more, more freely, instead of holding too tight and feeling like someone is prying from you. Your focus zooms in on treasure beyond what money can buy, and simply start enjoying whatever blessings come as an additional bonus – and somehow, sometimes, they even seem to come to you more easily. Praying for your friend.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thank you for sharing that. Lee. xxx

  16. slpmartin says:

    We are taught that if we work hard and be honest…all will be well…another fairy tale sad to say.

    1. theonlycin says:

      It just plain sucks, Charlie 😦

  17. Times like this I am neither cerebral nor constructive. I just hang on in there by the skin of my teeth, spend lots of time feeling angry and using any time left to help where I can. Lose all my perspective and just remind myself: Keep Buggering On…

    1. theonlycin says:

      No other choice, really, Kate 😦

  18. Life IS unfair at times. May God help your friend get through this awful event and bring some good out of it for her. Everything that happens is not good. Out of bad things, blessings may come, and I hope there will be a beautiful silver lining for your friend. I feel very sorry for her. How awful! Blessings…

  19. gospelwriter says:

    I feel for her. I don’t think things happen for a reason per se, and although I have railed at injustice as much as anybody, from my present vantage point I’m not at all convinced I would change a thing that happened in my longish life…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Don’t know if I’d like the option either …

  20. souldipper says:

    Hope your friend has a good strong base and a whole whack of solid friends so she can do whatever it takes to take her life back. Totally heartbreaking.

    1. theonlycin says:

      It is, she’s just taking things day by day.

  21. Artswebshow says:

    It sounds terrible.
    Things will balance themselves out, bad luck can only run for so long.
    You’re right though, it isn’t fair

    1. theonlycin says:

      All the windows and doors are now removed and the house stands there like a gaping cave 😦

  22. suzicate says:

    How terribly sad…even sadder that the police who we depend on are helpless. I hope things work out for your friend.

    1. theonlycin says:

      The laws in this country really protect the wrong people 😦

  23. many times. having u though as a friend is certainly a gold nugget.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I wish I had a magic wand …

  24. Adeeyoyo says:

    Nancy and Paula have a strong point, I think, but the end result is up to us.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I guess you’re right.

  25. Oh poor lady! What can you do but take it one thing at a time and hope eventually to recoup … if you still have the energy and motivation. She has a good friend in you, I’m sure. That’s no small thing.

  26. bandsmoke says:

    So frustrating and sad – be her friend, what more can you do. I suppose one shouldn’t wish evil on others but perhaps this time a little squatter squall is in order!

  27. buttercup600 says:

    I am so sorry Cindy, this is just aweful. I feel so sad for her. No-one deserves this! Thanking of you both oxox

  28. bluebee says:

    Terribly stressful for your friend – I have a friend whose property was taken over in a similar way in JHB and she ended up leaving SA. I think most of what happens to us is completely random and yet it’s bizarre that we seem to be hard-wired to look for meaning in everything.Just my opinion but I don’t believe that good always comes from bad or that there are always lessons to be learned from negative events. Sometimes this happens but not always. And I think it’s easier to get on with things if we face up to this (what I see as) reality. I know not everyone will agree with that.

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