WATER EVERYWHERE AND INTRODUCING MILDRED

As I said earlier, it’ raining here. A lot. Our swimming pool can now be described in estate agent-speak as rim flow. We’ve got all manner of flotation toys stacked by the back door. Seems like that little inflatable canoe will soon be the only way to get to the shops.

 

I’m feeling a bit like Noah’s wife; the animals should be brought inside now; all of them. This will mean rabbit droppings in the lounge, but what can one do?

The authors in the Bible didn’t give Noah’s wife much of a role in the story. In fact, she was deemed so trivial in the whole business that they didn’t even give her a name. Poor woman; who do you think had to deal with cow poop, alpaca poop, ibis poop and all the other kinds of poop. In duplicate; remember there were two of everything! And the constant rain; endless mopping up.

And all this on a bloody boat! I can imagine Noah was quite nervous when he had to tell her what lay ahead:

“ Let me tell you, when The Boss first gave me the brief I seriously thought about getting another job. That’s a big boat by any standards and Mildred nearly hit the roof when I told her what He wanted me to do.  

Forty days and nights rain, Noah? She shrieked. The Man’s meshugge!’  “

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40 Comments Add yours

  1. Like I say, you are Too Funny!
    🙂 Mandy
    PS. I am seriously a woman of my word and I will be spending (hopefully) an hour of uninterrupted sun tanning at the pool in the next hour or so, just for you 😉

    1. theonlycin says:

      Rub it in, why don’t you 😉

  2. leigh says:

    Mebbe they was two.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Or 40DD? (*)(*) 😉

      1. leigh says:

        Ha ha!

      2. theonlycin says:

        All that swabbing down of the poop decks, you know:
        I must I must increase my bust …

  3. leigh says:

    dreadful biz.

  4. Snow and arctic freeze are on their way over here, so I hope that makes you feel better.
    I love your take on the conversation between Noah and *Mildred* (?) 🙂
    Sunshine xx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Poor old Mildred 😉

  5. aardvarkian says:

    I see a sitcom here: Noah & Mildred – Love Boaters 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      LMAO! Excellent 😀

  6. Tes says:

    You are so funny 🙂 Noah’s wife!

  7. Mildred?

    Mildred?

    What sort of a biblical name is Mildred?

    I ask with tears running down my cheeks

    1. theonlycin says:

      All the good ones like Mary and Rachel were already taken ;p

  8. suzicate says:

    Love it, Mildred is the perfect name! And while Noah may have built the arc, Mildred had to contend with everything, including him! Please don’t float away, load the wine, two by two by by brand! Make sure there’s enough for eighty days and eighty nights….longer because then you might have to start growing the grapes before more wine can be made!

    1. you are a very smart woman, I like the thoughts, lots of wine must have been needed

  9. Tandy says:

    Noah was believed by the ancients to be the inventor of wine!

    1. theonlycin says:

      WOW, I didn’t know that! Good for him 🙂

  10. I shall be instructing my children in the biblical tales of Noah and Mildred shortly. It does beg the question, what did he call his kids?
    Hope it stops raining soon and you can send out the dove. Or possibly the rabbit.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thankfully the sun is back and starting to dry things out, it’s rather squelchy all over.

    2. colonialist says:

      Shem, Ham and Japheth.

      He sent a raven too, who quoth, ‘Nevermore!’

      1. theonlycin says:

        Ham and Sheese 🙂

  11. nrhatch says:

    Hope your sun returns shortly ~ thanks for the intro to Mildred.

    1. theonlycin says:

      You’re welcome 😉

  12. gospelwriter says:

    Poor Mrs Noah, er, ‘Mildred’. As I recall, she has a rather larger (if not more enviable) role in Timothy Findley’s Not Wanted on the Voyage (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Wanted_on_the_Voyage)…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks for the link, very interesting!

  13. slpmartin says:

    Thanks for the morning laugh…oh it’s raining here too.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Oh dear, keep dry Charlie!

  14. dustus says:

    lol Reminded me of how poor Mrs. Noah was treated in The Passion Plays. Great post.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Have never seen the passion plays, on my bucket list 🙂

  15. Liane says:

    I have to admit: I have not thought of Noah’s wife often enough! I’ll tell you something: she must have been a remarkable woman for sure!

  16. I agree, i have never thought of her- as a real person!!!

    Thsi was hilarious. Must admit- in JHB feeling the same way today! And yesterday, and the day before…..

    xx
    http://husbands4hire.wordpress.com

    1. theonlycin says:

      As I read your comment it stopped raining, well; over Zoo Lake anyway …

  17. colonialist says:

    Haha! Yes, great minds certainly think alike!

    If I remember the Bible correctly, Noah was the one who did all the animal husbandry (that’s why they don’t call it wifery?), and went without sleep for the entire period.

    1. theonlycin says:

      I didn’t know that.

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