In 2008, I entered a competition for short story writing in which the story had to conclude with the following line: “The guardians of the rainbow don’t like those who get in the way of the sun”.  The story also had to use the above image.


I won the competition, here is my entry:


It was a long and difficult pregnancy, an unending reminder of the brutal scene of the child’s conception.  Sureya loathed the foetus with a fierce dread; honed by the heaving, bilious nausea that stopped her sleep and made her bedclothes reek of rancid sweat.  She teetered on the edge of madness, sometimes wishing she could simply yield to its seduction.

When she did collapse into sleep, it was to enter the inside of the macabre theatre of her skull; to feel the callused hands of the men tearing at her, forcing her apart, licking her with their tainted tongues.  She smelled again their putrid breath and heard them screaming encouragement to each other, laughing at each new climax, every new spurt of vile and virile semen; to the accompaniment of the crescendo of frenzied noise made by the circle of drummers around the flower-strewn platform.

The thirteen ancient crones sat in a tight knot around the fire, chanting their constant mantra from beneath their lavishly jeweled hoods; symbols of their august status.  Never seeming to look directly at the bed in the corner, they watched Sureya every minute of the day and kept their slit-eyed vigil throughout the night.  It had taken too many years to find the right girl, they had had to sacrifice many along the way and time was running out.  Darkness was drawing close and hope was dying amongst the people too quickly, this baby was their last hope.

It was not at dawn, as they had planned; that the first pains came and her waters broke.  She uttered the first long, telling wail in the afternoon, as the rains flooded down on the dusty cracks of the courtyard floor.  Blood streamed from her chewed lips and she clawed at the ground, crawling as if to move away from what was trying to wrench itself from inside her.  The blood mixed in with the foetid mire and tattooed her body with a thousand tales of her agony.

For long periods of time, she let herself slip away from her body and float in her childhood; where sunlight prevailed in a world of lush green.  She allowed the long-ago music to wash over her and heard the laughter of the other children; ran with them again and felt the soft wind on her face.  And then the searing pain would bring her back to this place and make her body bear down against the will of her mind.

In the liquid light of the early moon, they caught the perfect infant and laid him on her breast.  As she bent her head to smother him in a first kiss that would stop his breath and would be his last, the high-priestess drew a gleaming, ancient dagger from the sash at her waist and plunged it into Sureya’s heart.  She handed the precious child to the others and told them to prepare him for their long journey.

The guardians of the rainbow don’t like those who get in the way of the sun.

©Cindy Taylor 2008


40 Comments Add yours

  1. Mmmm….

    I wonder when the blockbuster novel appears on the book shelves? 😉

    1. theonlycin says:

      mmmm … I need to address my laziness 😉

  2. leigh says:

    Oooh, c’est froid.

    1. theonlycin says:

      They’re multiplying?

  3. adeeyoyo says:

    This tale left me covered in goose bumps… Very, very good, Cindy, no wonder you won! Congratulations! Go girl!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks, adee, quite a departure for me.

  4. thysleroux says:

    This is great.
    Wow … congrats on winning!!!

    I perceive traces of “tribal sci-fi”, something akin to an environment in which an alternate “prehistoric” history could’ve taken place.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Yes, that’s how I felt it too, thanks Thys.

  5. I think I’ll just go to my happy place now. Very Rite Of Spring.
    You can write, Cindy, you sure can write.
    (involuntary shudder)

    1. theonlycin says:

      Rather makes me shudder too, Kate 🙂

  6. aardvarkian says:

    Well done, Cindy. There are elements here that would make a much longer story.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Just what is here us exhausting to me, but thanks, James 😉

  7. You never fail to deliver, Cindy.

  8. nrhatch says:

    Wow! What a lot of punch in so few lines. Horrifying and mesmerizing. And effective use of the concluding line.

    BTW: In your intro ~ competition needs a quick fix

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks, Nancy, all fixed now.

  9. slpmartin says:

    A brilliant story…but over morning coffee it was shocking to read…at least I’m awake now….truly fine writing.

  10. halfp1nt says:

    Ooh, Cin. Goosebumps!

  11. gospelwriter says:

    my goodness, um, I think I need another coffee now – maybe a drink, though I seldom do and it’s not even noon…

  12. What an amazing and frightening short story, beautifully written. Parts of it reminded me of an Indian novel based on true facts. Very well done, Cindy ! Félicitations.

  13. Paula says:

    OOH, “Anonymous Cin!” Very Rosemary’s Baby-ish. . .only better, and more complex – even in such a short story! Congrats on the deserved win. what were some of the other entries like?

    BTW, don’t know if you ever saw my response to your becoming “Anonymous Cin” on my blog: “Anonymous” works for me, and say! Wouldn’t you love to own the copyright on that name? Talk about royalties due! We could be rich! I’ll be “Ms. Anonymous,” and you can be “Ms. Author Unknown.”


  14. twistedvines says:

    Wow….a bubble of concentration while reading this…didn’t want it to
    burst!….congratulations on 1st prize Yvette

  15. granny1947 says:

    Oh goosebumps have goosebumps!

  16. souldipper says:

    A great piece of writing, Cin. Not easy being so immersed in dark.

    Of course it won! I’d love to know – Did you know, deep inside, that you had nailed it?

  17. suzicate says:

    WOW, no surprise you won…incredibly creative and well written!

  18. buttercup600 says:

    Wow Cindy, you really are such a good writer, my word… that gave me goosebumps…you are something else girlfriend!! BRILLIANT XXXX

  19. Tokeloshe says:



  20. Jamie Dedes says:

    A chill after the fashion of Rosemary’s baby … Well done. No wonder you won! …

    Such a mulittalented lady!

    Thanks for posting this, Cindy.

  21. Tandy says:

    Yesterday, I opened this post, but did not read it. I never even glanced at it. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that yesterday, I would not have coped reading this gut wrenching heart breaking story. Well written Cindy 🙂

  22. klrs09 says:

    Amazing — chilling. Beautifully written. No wonder you won.

  23. tsuchigari says:

    Rich, vibrant, and amazing – no question to why you won. Would love to see what you could do with a longer format.

  24. theonlycin says:

    WOWEE! Thanks everyone, these are very encouraging comments.

  25. PattiKen says:

    Hi, Cin. I followed a link on Jamie’s NaNoWriMo post to this wonderful story. Wow. Just wow, wow, wow! I’ll repeat what others have said: no wonder you won. This is totally chilling.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks so much Patti 🙂

  26. I know this isn’t precisely on topic, but i have a web site using the identical program as nicely and i am getting troubles with my feedback displaying. is there a setting i’m lacking? it’s attainable chances are you’ll assist me out? thanx.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Go away, you spamming freak 😦

  27. Spectra says:

    Truly well written, Cin. Thanks for the link. A couple weeks back, I watched the Mel Gibson film for the first time, Apocolypto. It was mesmerizing, like this- all that human sacrifice. What you write may read like dark fantasy, but such things really did happen in the Aztec culture in Central America. They even sacrificed children, too, for rain! A Catholic church in Mexico City still has one of the giant sacrificial bowls, 700 yrs old, back in the baptismal room.

    They had no regard for life. In one, 4 day period, the high priests managed to kill 20,000 people! And that is for real – they’ve found the mounds of discarded corpse bones. They didn’t bury these people. They cut off their heads, rolled them down the pyramids steps, then threw the body along afterward. Truly awful. Your writing captures a personal perspective, of what it may have been like for an innocent woman caught up in such a freaked out culture of death. A well deserved win!

    1. theonlycin says:

      I didn’t know that bit of history, how ghoulishly brutal. Thanks Spectra!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s