THE MAN NEEDS A SMACK ON THE HEAD!

The gods chose to bestow some things only on women; things – like childbirth and Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) – so painful that men, if forced to deal with them, would fling themselves off cliffs en masse like lemmings, and thus put a swift end to all mankind.

During my visit to Doctor Neighbour on Wednesday, I mentioned a slight discomfort in my lower abdomen.  “Watch it and keep me posted” he said.

Thursday passed in a medication-induced and fluey haze and I went to bed early, only to be woken at 3am on Friday morning by excruciating pain, fever and nausea.  By 9am, when Doctor Neighbour’s rooms opened, there was blood in my urine.  I called the good doctor, who immediately sent me a 7-day course of antibiotics and some strong painkillers, saying that the symptoms should begin to abate in a day or two.

Later, I declined my husband and daughter’s invitation to go to a movie, telling them I felt too sick and sore, and that they should see to their own supper when they got home.  I took a hot bath and my pills and, like a wounded hound, crawled into bed.

They got home at 7.45pm and my husband put his head in the bedroom door.

Are you in bed already?” he said.

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51 thoughts on “THE MAN NEEDS A SMACK ON THE HEAD!

  1. Cindy, you had me in stitches….but I know the pain that goes with it….I hope you feel so much better my friend….you are just in one word…Hilarious!!!! Love you loads xoxoxoxoxo

  2. I am so sorry you are not well. Drink lots of cranberry juice and parsley tea – and take out all your frustrations with that lovely roller, where ever it lands 🙂

  3. OMG, Cin! It’s hard not to laugh, except I know I’m laughing with you, and not at you! As far as it being better not to go through this sort of thing alone – I quite disagree – I MUCH PREFER being left COMPLETELY alone when ill – it’s so much easier to just crawl under the covers and forget that anybody else exists, and to have no one to answer, or to answer to! “Yer darn tootin’ I’m in bed already – and if you hadn’t asked such a stupid question, I’d be asleep and out of my misery for a little while, you ignorant twit!” (That would be my fever-crazed answer, anyway!)

    BTW, what movie did they see? 😀

  4. Here’s the good doctor diagnosing your ailments:

    “Hmm . . . pain, fever, nausea. You may have . . . keep an eye on things . . . we’ll see how it goes . . .”

    versus:

    “OMG. YOU bought store-bought Chicken Soup . . . you are sick! I’m calling the hospital to have you admitted right away.”

    Sorry you’re having such a tough week. Feel better soon.

  5. No kidding! – When I hear things like this, I am right glad that I live alone…

    Maybe what the man really needs is a good few nightmares of experiencing womanhood from the inside out… 😉 – ah, not that I’d wish that on anyone, not really.

  6. Ha – the title made me smile. So many men need “a smack on the head” – 😉 lol.

    So sorry to hear you have been under the weather – and hope you start to feel better VERY soon! Chloe xx

  7. Ah yes, I’ve been down avenue idiot with a male counterpart before Cindy. This is of course what frying pans are for a la Wilma Flintstone lol Please take care of yourself my dear friend and know that we all have a “Are you in bed already” guy somewhere in our past or present reality too and therefore empathize. “Sigh” it still boggles the female mind though. HUGS

  8. Here’s the thing . . .

    Women tend to be stoic when sick. When they retire early, it’s always a bit of a surprise.

    In contrast, men who are sick never bother to get up at all.

  9. That’s a familiar issue for all women, I think! I sympathize with your UTI, they’re just horrible. BTW, how’s Granny doing? She hasn’t posted in several days and I was concerned about her.

  10. This puts me in mind of a man friend who said, “You know, I didn’t know she was unhappy. Never had a clue.” when asked about his divorce. I know for a fact that both of them spoke English. 🙂

  11. Oh girlfriend! I’ve been where you are and know how painful that is. Hopefully you’re feeling better now and give up the idea of the rolling pin. Honestly, it won’t make a bit of difference.

  12. Don’t they sometimes just need a good smack upside the head? LOL Hope you’re feeling better soon. Drink cranberry juice (do you get that in South Africa?) I swear by cranberry juice when I feel any kind of UTI coming on.

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