Diski is a demanding puppy; she seems to resent me working.  I’m powerless against her charms and go outside with a tennis ball to make her tired enough to take a nap.

My manuscript sits beside me in silent reproach.  One more cup of coffee, just one, I promise it.

The gardener guns his weed eater, setting my nerves on edge.  I put on shoes fit for public eyes and go off to the Post Office, where I mail a book about Arizona to a man who lives in Arizona.

Back at my desk, I am confronted with a tangle of superfluous conjunctions and make a phonecall to delay dealing with them.  When I end the call I realise that I am hungry and I eat a meat pie with a glass of one of the finest wines this country can offer.  Junk food cuisine, I laugh at the ironic food/wine pairing.

The manuscript is now sending out sonar squeals of admonishment.  I fling a scarf over it, go to refill my glass and come back to my study to check my email and  fret for a while over the plight of an orphaned Chacma baboon baby.

Later …

I’ve slid the judgemental manuscript under my desk.  A sms message appears on my cell phone screen:

Dad forgot his clothes and now he stinks wat am i gonna do and to top that he didnt bring a towel to bath


And so I go to my own bathroom, with another glass of wine and a book … not the manuscript, but something sinfully indulgent.

Tomorrow is another day.  To paraphrase Scarlett, I’ll deal with grown-up things then.



22 thoughts on “PROCRASTINATION

  1. Bwahaha, that’ll teach them to go without you… Now you know you’ll have to go next time, teeheehee! (Maybe you can still get away with not going if you promise to do the packing, lol.)

  2. Thanks for the LOL, Cin, this is HILARIOUS!! You should have your own humour column in a magazine…or do you already??

    P.S. Enjoy getting your family back 🙂

    • No, I don’t have a column; journalism in this country is delivered by a tiny, incestuous knot of writers. I write schoolbooks; my publishers – generally – prefer me to not be funny.

  3. Oh, I know this behavior very well. My manuscript has taken to waking me up in the middle of the night with guilt trips that my mother would envy. Thank you Cindy, for making me feel less alone on the island of maybe later. Hugs

  4. Is it something about editing manuscripts? – When I was doing that for a living it was exactly the way you describe it, give or take a few details. Sooner or later, it always got done, though…

  5. He forgot his clothes? eeekkk?? Poor bun!
    Don’t worry about the procrastination – when you need the burst of creative energy to work through the book it will be there! *holding thumbs*

  6. I imagine there must novels written about the procrastination to not getting around to writing the novel the novelist was REALLY wanting to write. But this was probably more fun to read than such a novel would be.

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