RITUAL

It’s the same almost every single weekday morning; at exactly 6am I get a peck on the cheek and a see you later as he leaves for work. I pour my second cup of coffee and cut cheese for a sandwich, select a piece of fruit and take a bottle of water from the fridge. These things I place inside a green canvas lunch bag.

At twenty-five past six, I tentatively go into her bedroom. What will I find today? A sleep-crumpled cherub, who will let me snuggle for a minute and shower her cheek with loud kisses? No, more likely a grumpy gargoyle sprouting horns, who will spit and hiss like a little devil cat in protest at being woken. I do the deed quickly and flee back to the kitchen to fix Jungle Oats.

Then begins the true horror.

Where is my Alice Band, Mom?
I don’t know, where did you take it off yesterday?

Where are my shoes, Mom?
I don’t know, I haven’t worn them in ages.
Very funny Mom!

No matter how many times I suggest she prepares the night before, there is always one item she can’t find. Somehow I get the blame for this and there is much scurry and fuss and bad temper and we are almost late for school.

There, just as I am about to tell her that I won’t fetch her, that she can go home with someone else; she redeems herself and I am giving a fierce hug and those incomparable words. I love you Mommy.

She’s going to be thirteen next year. I think I’ll hang a garlic clove above her doorway and give her an alarm clock. I’ll take up with a jogging group who run at 6.15 and the wicked child can get herself sorted in the mornings.

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51 thoughts on “RITUAL

  1. Hallmark doesn’t know what they are missing!

    I laughed all the way through this.

    My fave: “No, more likely a grumpy gargoyle sprouting horns, who will spit and hiss like a little devil cat in protest at being woken.”

    My difficult-to-wake nieces arrive tomorrow. I tend to let sleeping “devil cats” lie. : )

  2. I am amazed that I didn’t go through this with my children – I put my parents through merry hell and should have had my turn! The sleeping-in is a teenage thing I think they all go through – maybe growth spurts or hormones? Good luck, Cin.

  3. Good luck with that… the Alarm Clock I mean… the culprit is the sins of society, n not you…Sins passed down for centuries…through the spreading of the “Oats” of the jungle.
    God Bless you …
    paul…I mean that

  4. Or…as Paul Simon put it:

    Words & music by paul simon

    No I would not give you false hope
    On this strange and mournful day
    But the mother and child reu-nion
    Is only a motion away, oh, little darling of mine.
    I cant for the life of me
    Remember a sadder day
    I know they say let it be
    But it just dont work out that way
    And the course of a lifetime runs
    Over and over again

    No I would not give you false hope
    On this strange and mournful day
    But the mother and child reu-nion
    Is only a motion away, oh, little darling of mine.

    I just cant believe its so,
    And though it seems strange to say
    I never been laid so low
    In such a mysterious way
    And the course of a lifetime runs
    Over and over again

    But I would not give you false hope
    On this strange and mournful day
    When the mother and child reu-nion
    Is only a motion away,
    Oh, oh the mother and child reunion
    Is only a motion away
    Oh the mother and child reu-nion
    Is only a moment away

    Possibilities of Paul’s frame of mind while writing said tune: As elusive as Carly Simmons> You’re so vain!!!
    Here’ more > http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=1997

  5. I get the garlic, I need to warn you it does not get better, but the one thing that really had me rolling was the thought of you joining a running group!
    Now really Cin, why would we want to punish ourselves that badly???? 🙂

  6. I remember reading this the first time and identifying with it 100%
    I never know whether I’m getting the serpent with 50 different heads or a soft cuddly bunny… *sigh*

  7. Oh…those lovely teenage years….when parents lose all intelligence…not to be regained until the child’s twenty-first or first year alone after college…enjoyed this post because I survived it. 😉

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