There are some blogs I follow in awe, so impressed by their content that I sneak away, like a voyeur, without ever leaving comment. There’s an Italian girl who posts her photographs of the most exquisite interiors, there’s a florist in Germany who has a singular talent of being one step ahead in floral design, there are graphic design blogs from Japan … I won’t list them all. One blog I visit from time to time is written by a group of young British amateur film-makers. They tap into the world of alternative movies and feature new films. Much of it is way beyond me and, most of the time, I can’t understand what on earth the film is about. Their recent feature just shocked me to the core.

“The Human Centipede” has to be the most horrifying film ever made. Most disturbing for me was the question of what sort of mind had conceived of a plot where a deranged surgeon sews his victims, mouth-to-bum with other victims, to create a great big worm.

I was so upset I had to have a tot of the cooking sherry in my morning coffee and go out into the garden to think about more pleasant movies. I contemplated a film about my own life: Dame Judy Dench would star as me, in floaty ensembles, leading a very busy life and rushing about attending poetry readings in beautiful buildings.

Reality soon hit home and I had to concede that it would more likely be Brenda Blethyn starring, in an egg-stained velour track suit; pushing a shopping trolley down the detergent aisle of our local Shoprite.

Oh well, the daydream was a nice interlude, best I get myself ready to tackle the weeds in the rose garden.


34 Comments Add yours

  1. leigh says:

    They got nothin on you, girl 🙂

  2. i enjoyed letters to juilet – if you want a girlie movie – the young man is delicious

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Sidey, will look out for it.

  3. i daren’t contemplate a movie about my life

  4. souldipper says:

    Fellow explorer! The problem with running into that sort of weirdness is how it sticks in the brain like bubblegum on the bottom of a shoe on a hot day. Hope the garden cleansed and purged.

    Go for Judy Dent and write the script you want, Cin. One time I was curious about script writing and googled “An Officer and a Gentleman”. I went over the first few pages of the script, then downloaded the movie. I was amazed at how exact it was. I thought directors and actors took liberties galore, but not in this one.

    I decided script writing is too detailed for me. I would not care if it was a Gucci purse or a Farenti clutch. (Don’t look that up – I invented it.)

    Anyway, now that you are starting your day, I’m off to bed.

    1. theonlycin says:

      No, I doubt I could write a script either.
      Sleep tight, my friend.

  5. adeeyoyo says:

    Judy Dench would be my first choice too. Btw some people are really sick!

    1. theonlycin says:

      I like Helen Mirren as an option *grin*

      1. adeeyoyo says:

        Gwynneth Paltrow?

      2. theonlycin says:

        hahahaha adee, if she’s beaten on the head with a heavy hammer to compress her down to ft2 maybe!

  6. halfp1nt says:

    I made the fatal mistake of clicking on your link. Man, but that is really sick. Makes me wonder what they were smoking to come up with an idea like that.

    I can picture you in floaty ensembles, but in an egg-stained velour track suit? Never! *shudder*

    1. theonlycin says:

      It’s just bizarre Shorty, imagine wanting to be cast in the film … *shudder*

      As for the tracksuits … well it has been a very cold winter …

  7. nrhatch says:

    Judy Dench . . .
    Wonderful casting
    She’s a bit older
    And will be older still
    By the time it’s time
    To tell your story
    Still . . .
    A young Judy Dench
    A timeless Judy Dench
    Wonderful casting, indeed

    1. theonlycin says:

      Time is being very kind to Dame Dench ;p

  8. gospelwriter says:

    Heavens! Aren’t there enough atrocities still happening in the world that people don’t have to conjure up new ideas for some future would-be world power or sicko dictator to try out on whichever race or culture is deemed de trop at the time?

    I saw Helen Mirren recently in the Last Station, a film about Tolstoy’s final year of life. I think she is an amazing actor but I can never think of her without remembering the Cook, the Thief, his Wife and her Lover – a pretty horrible movie (content-wise) but incredibly well acted.

    MO, but I think Judy Dench would manage the egg-stained velour track suit as well as she would the floaty ensembles

    1. theonlycin says:

      I didn’t see ‘The Cook etc’, but on your recommendation will avoid it 🙂

  9. stilekke says:

    ….hey girl, you never cease to amaze me…just when I think I have you down pat….you come from another corner with something new….have a goody weekend you hear….

    1. theonlycin says:

      You too stilekke 🙂

  10. Kavita says:

    I think I was VERY smart in not clicking the link you’ve posted… And haflp1nt’s comment just confirmed that! 🙂

    By the way Cin, Judy Dench would be the PERFECT cast… just last night, we watched Shakespeare in Love, where she played Queen…So the image is kinda fresh in my head 🙂
    And now you’ve gotten me thinking on what kinda movie would I make (if ever I were to!) 🙂 .. Maybe some fantasy stuff where I can transform myself into a butterfly.. something like that.. 🙂

    1. theonlycin says:

      That would be a good movie Kavita, I imagine you as Aishwarya Rai 🙂

      1. Kavita says:

        wooohhoooooo … that’s some imagination!!! Okay, now for some facts for you…
        Although Aishwarya Rai and (AND Kavita) were born and raised in the fantastic city of Mumbai(Bombay), our parents originally hail from a city called Mangalore (Southern India)… so we are both from the SAME PLACE in any case.. 😉

      2. theonlycin says:

        So, I wasn’t far off then 🙂

  11. buttercup600 says:

    I agree with the Helen Mirren as an option too:):) Happy I did not click on it too:) You are amazing Cin….love you girlfriend x

  12. Jingle says:

    it is fun to watch movies,
    I have been doing it today.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Lucky you Jingle 🙂

  13. slpmartin says:

    I’ve hear of this video and have not intentions of seeing it…not because of rejecting innovating film making…but it just to close to my bed time. 😉

    1. theonlycin says:

      Yes, it’s pretty disturbing at any time of day. Sleep well my friend.

  14. libras child says:

    Oh puke. the human centipede haunts me this year and i haven’t even seen it. its a constant discussion in my office. the sequel is due out this year as it’s developed enough cult status even though it went straight to dvd in a lot of places

    1. theonlycin says:

      A sequel?
      Oh well, it takes all types to make a world …

  15. Jamie Dedes says:

    Chilling movie … not yours, theirs … great post. Might actually be a productive exercise for us to do: think of a movie of our life. If we could stay away from the grandious, we might learn something about ourselves. I just might work with this … 🙂

    Happy Monday, Cin. Have a great week …

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