FRIDAY FLASH 55 / SIDE VIEW’S WEEKEND THEME COMBO : FALSE STARTS

A shoebox
Left (gently) on a church doorstep
         Shadows, a skirt skims cobblestones
         Hurried steps, last look back.

Look!
Says the nun, rubbing her hands against the morning chill
A baby girl,
Another throwaway!

The old priest, bone weary,
Enfolds the infant in his cassock;

She’s had a false start,
But we’ll make it right.

Side View’s weekend theme challenge: http://viewfromtheside.wordpress.com/

G-Man’s Friday Flash 55 words challenge:

http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/

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25 Comments Add yours

  1. deepercolors says:

    OK, you’ve been reading my latest novel! Hmmmm.

    1. theonlycin says:

      Where can I find it?

  2. buttercup600 says:

    Thought provoking girlfirend!!!! Good one….but nothing I EVER read of you, disappoints me…YOU ROCK!!! (Wil ook van daai boontjie sop he!!) xxx

    1. theonlycin says:

      Die een maak my hart seer, ‘n ou, ou storie.
      Thanks my friend.

      1. buttercup600 says:

        Eendag….drink ek en jy ‘n ou Merlotjie saam…ek weet in my hart jy is “my kinda girl”….{{{Huggs}}} x

      2. theonlycin says:

        Ditto, my thoughts exactly 😀

  3. Claudia says:

    …She’s had a false start,
    But we’ll make it right… could kiss you for this sentence – really!

    1. theonlycin says:

      Thanks Claudia 🙂

  4. adeeyoyo says:

    Lovely post and very clever, Cin. I could picture the scene so well!

  5. Me a writer? says:

    Fingers crossed…If you want to hear (yes hear!) or read my Friday 55 Flash fiction then click here. Hope you have a good weekend!

    1. theonlycin says:

      On my way over 🙂

  6. waystationone says:

    excellent 55. i am glad the right people found her, and that life does not end in a shoebox…

    1. theonlycin says:

      Or she found them 🙂

  7. nrhatch says:

    No False Start here. : )

    Well done.

  8. Eric Alder says:

    Something ironic about leaving an unwanted newborn at the step of a church.

  9. slpmartin says:

    How times have changed…once we would have entrusted an infant to the church…now sadly we wouldn’t even consider that as an appropriate place…now such children are left outside fire stations or hopitals…a fine thought provoking poem.

  10. G-Man says:

    Cindy…
    This was so very touching…
    What a wonderful talent you are.
    Excellent 55 My Dear.
    Sad, but full of Hope…You Rocked this one out!
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End…G

  11. Alice Audrey says:

    Vivid! Nicely done. Excellent 55.

    My 55 is here.

  12. stilekke says:

    ……admiring looks…..and applause….you never cease to amaze me……..

  13. I especially like the long skirt swishing on cbblestones. Can hear the bells tolling, and the city waking. Roosters. Dogs. Smell of bacon. 🙂

    Excellent 55!

    –a G-Man fan.

  14. Jamie Dedes says:

    What a class act you are, Cindy. This is very fine work. Others have taken whole novels to tell the story you’ve told – and powerfully – in just 55 words. Congratulation!

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