“We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.”

 Lynn Hall

Cindy, 1966, aged 2.

As far back as I can remember I felt myself apart from things; with a sense of looking on at life as a chronicler of time and events. There was always a subconscious I will recall this one day; every colour, sound and scent. Even now, there is a ghostly doppelganger me, watching behind me as I go about my day, pressing my actions into memory like dried rose petals in a journal.

I’m thinking about the novel I am currently reading; where a character has Alzheimer’s disease and is slowly losing all memory of her past. What a brutal robber the illness is! I think. And then I wonder; does it really matter, after all, she’s blissfully unaware?


15 thoughts on “SPECTATOR / SCRIBE

  1. You’ve reminded me of a quote I included in A Writer’s Life For Me:

    There is only one trait that marks the writer. He is always watching. It’s a kind of trick of the mind and he is born with it. ~ Morley Callahan


    There’s a wonderful book/movie about Iris Murdach (writer) and her losing battle with Alzheimer’s ~ IRIS


  2. intersted in which book you are reading…i read Still Alice a month or so ago…it was brilliant…and i can relate to teh feeling of being a chronicler…

  3. The movie Iris about Iris Murdoch was the scariest movie I ever saw. She was aware (like others I know) that her mind was going, It is extremely scary for them,

    I was so sad as I loved her writing

  4. Very scary and sad disease – I have seen it’s effect on those family members who have to cope with it.

  5. It seems that people suffering from AD do have flashes of reality where they realise something isn’t right – and that is really the cruel part of the disease. Love the quote – it’s so true!

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