THE HEIGHT OF EMBARRASSMENT

There are three small boys in my neighborhood who give me a terrible fright by climbing ten foot high walls and pranking about up there.  My morbid fear of heights is so bad that I am unable to stand on a kitchen stool to retrieve something from a high shelf without turning to jelly.

Lat year, at the home of the parents of these boys and emboldened by several glasses of Merlot, it occurred to me that I should confront my phobia: I just had to climb that wall and it would be conquered forever.  With my hostess’s help, I mounted the wall at its lowest point and began to inch my way forward.  I was immediately scared and sat down, straddling the wall and making little horse-riding movements forward.  After a few meters I reached the highest section of the wall, with still at least four meters to go before I was at a point where I could dismount via a tree.  I was now hysterically afraid and went into a stage of near paralysis.  Going backward was impossible; I was glued to the spot.

It was at this juncture that my host and his other guests caught sight of me; a forty five year-old woman in a frilly frock, silhouetted on the Johannesburg skyline, frozen astride a wall.

My kind hostess found a ladder, but I was too scared to use it.  Two burly chaps were called to assist and I was finally returned to earth, an undignified shaking wreck.

I really hoped no one took a photo …

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18 thoughts on “THE HEIGHT OF EMBARRASSMENT

  1. I read your original post and was hoping there was proof LOL – I am also SERIOUSLY afraid of heights!!

  2. And he took her to a very high place and showed her all the kingdoms of the world, but she was too petrified to to see them, and eventually he had toi get a ladder and two burly fellows to get her down from the very high place. So much for temptation.

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